Dear David, dear all,
interesting discussion.
I understand e v e r y constellation as the set-up of an inner process of
the client ! This, in fact, means that nothing is ever revealed about your
family. What is presented is what kind of inner image or relationship a
person developed with regard to Her/his family.
A constellation does not reflect the reality of a family. Content is the
most unreliable part of a constellation. A constellation, I am repeating
myself, shows what kind of inner image developed in a client in his personal
history about his family. Reliable are the QUALITIES that show up but not
the actually related story. I can refer countless stories about that. Hope
everybody makes sure that this becomes a common understanding in the
American field.
Sometimes, the inner image does coincide with some seemingly "objective"
aspect of the real life situation. All the better. In my opinion, whatever
is on the tape reflects internal aspects in this specific (videotaping)
situation, with this particular facilitator, with the particular inner state
of the client in mind, with the particular group of people present. This
should be somehow related to the viewer. In Germany exactly this
misunderstand led to devastating press coverage by the press. By the way,
the same holds true for every story, sorry constellation, you may read in
Bert Hellinger's books.
About facilitators: My experience is that we are living in a time where many
conventional boundaries dissolve. We need no professionals who hide behind
their expertise, role, knowledge, papal infallibility or whatever. The more
I show my own vulnerability in constellations seminars, constellation
trainings, or any other "professional" settings the more people can be human
themselves, open up and engage in a profound inner process that they
experience as highly rewarding. Therapists, facilitators, consultants,
priests, social workers, counsellors, etc. need to be within themselves at a
place where they expect their clients to get to. I hope we will get many,
many tapes of American facilitators who display their own vulnerability to
the public and thus help to create a field of honesty, humbleness,
authenticity and existential humanness that becomes contagious within the
whole field and inspires people to trust their hunger for the same kind of
process.
In this sense I hope the American facilitators will be soon ahead of their
European colleagues.
Finally, to quote the (in-)famous Chris Walsh and his Killer-Koala: "Hasta
la Vista"
So long
Johannes B. Schmidt
-----Ursprüngliche Nachricht-----
Von: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] Im Auftrag von sheila saunders
Gesendet: Samstag, 20. Oktober 2007 18:31
An: constellationtalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Betreff: RE: [ConstellationTalk] Recording
David, and other readers,
Thanks so much for continuing this dialogue. I think it is an important one
and I hope that others will weigh in on it. As for the release I sent a copy
of, yes, there is a contradiction, one that is clearly identifed in the
document with the word notwithstanding, which means in spite of,
nevertheless, however, although
i.e. both things exist in the presence of
the other.
The tapes of Berts work dating back to the mid 90s have been an essential
aspect of how I learned the work when I started. There was little writing at
the time and these tapes provided the only opportunity next to workshop
attendance, to learn from the source of Berts own learning, and from where
he developed his understanding about The Orders of Love. In these tapes, I
have seen the personal pieces of a number of US facilitators, myself
included. If a potential client saw me work and decided I was not the person
they wanted to work with, they have made the best decision for us both. A
client always has the prerogative of working with or not working with me and
lack of confidence based on their interpretation of who I am or who Im not
after seeing me do some personal work, is as good a reason as any. When my
shame around my own work or issues comes up, I deal with it, realizing it is
about me, not about any other person. Keeping my issues under wraps because
of it only fuels it.
This does not mean that I would work anywhere with anyone under any
circumstances. I make some discrimination about this, and still have been
fortunate to have had many opportunities to work, all in the presence of
peers, colleagues or strangers, some of it taped. In general, though my
issue is highly personal to me, it is rarely personal for anyone else. I
become vulnerable in relation to my response to an issue or when faced with
the opportunity for resolution. All the inter- and intra- psychic dynamics
or historical events so exhaustively explored in conventional therapy, give
more opportunity for the client to wallow around in their own ego -
something I would REALLY not want on tape! (In fact, it is often when
someone is operating out of ego, that their objection to being on tape is
greatest). I have come to realize that it is not in the issue, but rather
in my ability to take steps towards the resolution, that is a greater
measure of my character, and the area which demands the most courage and in
which I reveal my vulnerability. It is also the most important aspect of
developing myself as a guide for others on a similar road.
As for my family, gosh, if I had recordings of all of the kavetching I have
done about each and every member of my family of origin over the years, I
could lay a road to China. I wasnt worried about their confidentiality
then. Slander, pure and simple, all of it. So now, when I am looking in a
serious way, at the outcome of events that my family members/ancestors
experienced and endured, I use my own inner compass to determine whether or
not I have permission to proceed; and if I may proceed, I make every effort
to do so with respect, openness and non-judgment. I am also discriminating
about who I ask to assist me in my process, seeking out those who use a
well-developed maturity and inner compass to guide them as well.
Sorry I wasnt more concise. All the best, sheila
Sheila Saunders, RN, LMFT www.systemicfamilysolutions.com
2007 US Conference on Systemic Constellations www.constellationsusa.com
PO Box 1011 Weaverville, North Carolina 28787
828-273-5015
Be realistic; expect a miracle.
But be patient.
The impossible takes slightly longer than the difficult.
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> From: david@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 18:18:13 +1000> Subject: [ConstellationTalk]
permission is for something different.> > I have pasted below the twoparagraphs I feel are in conflict in the > document posted by Sheila.> > *I
