Hello Leslie
Firstly Id like to mention that I absolutely agree with Karen. Honor is
very important in Southern European cultures (especially those with Moorish
influence). Not only in Italy. Im living in Spain and it is almost the
same, however culturally seen, not as severe as Italy. As far as Ive
experiences only the Spanish Gipsy-community is even more rigid and
honor-oriented than the Italians. Im half German and half Spaniard married
to a Sicilian fiery bonny, and thus know both cultures quite well.
Secondly, and according to my experiences and in regard to your
constellation case, Id like to mention that being ejected from the family
is the maximum penalty a Sicilian may receive (at least if hes educated
according to the traditional Sicilian way), even worse than death penalty,
at least from their socio-cultural point of view.
Remember that South Europeans, as well as Latinos, are collectivist
societies. Collectivist societies are focused on the family or the group
over one persons personal ambitions. Collectivism (the opposite of an
individualistic culture like i.e. the US) in first line means; the family
followed by friends (amigos in Spanish and amici in Italian).
According to intercultural studies, rights are derived by mutual respect and
understanding that everyone has a responsibility or duty to carry out a
certain role. In general, these roles are listed in a hierarchy, based on a
traditional family system. In extreme cases the father, head of the
household, is responsible for providing financial and disciplinary roles and
the mother follows the directives and commands of her husband and anyone
else on the husbands side of the family.
In collectivist societies name and reputation are keys. Choice is made to
uphold a familys reputation. Any disputes or problems are considered
private as any public display or rumor of trouble in a family can destroy
its reputation; thus the social standing in that family could collapse and
grave misfortune could quickly follow. However, if anyone in a family does
not fulfill their duties or commits a shameful act against a family, that
individual is then harshly punished. Collectivist societies focus their
social structure on the philosophy that, scarifying the individuals
ambitions for the success of the family is not only honorable, it is
paramount.
Thus I think, one point is to get to the reason why is/was he ejected?
Remember that the value of own family members is much higher and rank before
any other person or institution. And thus, the reason for an ejection must
be something very, but very serious.
A further point which I always consider at work with South Europeans is
their strong tie/link with the Roman Catholic Church with its beliefs and
dogmas.
On the other hand however, the mentioned topics are seen from a mental
level, from a systemic level it should be the same pain for the affected
person, whether being ejected or i.e. not recognized.
I hope this might help you a bit. Anyway, Id be glad if I could learn from
your experiences and hear your opinion after your session with the young
man.
Regards
Manuel
www.manuellerida.org <http://www.manuellerida.org/>
Von: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] Im Auftrag von Leslie Nipps
Gesendet: jueves, 18 de julio de 2013 0:00
An: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Betreff: [ConstellationTalk] honor cultures
I am doing a constellation this Sunday for a young man of Sicilian descent,
and I would love your insights and experience with.
1) "Honor-based" cultures.
2) The situation is which the young man is ejected from the family for
being a threat to the established order (rather like young male stallions
being ejected from the herd to protect the lead stallion's harem).
Thanks in advance for any experience you've had with these and related
themes in the constellation context!
Peace, Leslie
The Rev. Leslie Nipps, NLP & Family Constellations Practitioner
"Trust as a Way of Life..."
<http://www.leslienipps.com> www.leslienipps.com
<mailto:leslie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ;<mailto:leslie%40leslienipps.com> >
leslie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <mailto:leslie%40leslienipps.com>
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