Dear Stefan and Gary:
I've been reading your emails and agreeing and resonating with them, as well
as with what Libby wrote and I've personally been in deep grief, fear, and
anger about this.
Thanks, Stefan, for saying you are from New Orleans because now I understand
the greater depth of what you feel. I felt the pain pouring forth in your
emails and was having trouble reading them because part of me couldn't bear
it, but now I understand why.
I'm from New York City and was in the city on 9/11. I saw the puffs of
smoke, heard the sirens and airplanes overhead, watched my cats hide under
the bed, knew many who saw the buildings collapse and ran for their lives,
as well as those who lost loved ones.
And I can tell you that although, as you say, there are those anywhere who
resonate with the event, there is indeed a different level of suffering when
it's you and your home town. You lose the immunity that others can retreat
to. In the aftermath, it felt as though people I knew were anaesthetized and
still living in a bubble. And from their side, no one likes to hear bad
news, and they probably thought I was "over-reacting."
From where I sat, it felt urgent to bring about a different outcome right
before the last presidential election. I was on the phone every night for
hours, phoning voters, and writing newspapers all over the country. I must
have made thousands of such efforts. And you know what I was telling people?
I told them, "We in New York City don't want our suffering used for this
war, we're more afraid now, we want different leadership. We're on the front
lines, and we know we are less safe."
And it felt like it was very hard for people to understand. I had friends
and families in other places in the country who also wanted a different
outcome to the election-- but were they on the phone every night? Most were
not, though all my friends in the city were manning the phone banks. And
posters in the black sections of town prophetically declaimed, "Vote or
Die."
Weeks before the election, I wrote into this group about President Bush's
grandfather who ran the American bank that was used by Hitler's financiers
to help finance the rise of Nazism. I got a single response, from someone
saying that nothing could be done without a Bush family member. No further
comment. I felt so discouraged.
In the wake of New Orleans and anticipating the upcoming Congress, I began
writing again and here's my question to this group:
I understand very well that we cannot contrive a constellation-- but at the
same time, at this moment in history, how important is it for me as an
American to devote a lot of time and energy to a modality, that can clean up
after perpetration, but not find a way to stem the tide of ongoing, current
perpetration? And if there is a way, what is it?
Perhaps, it's about facing and accepting the death of democracy, the
destruction of nature, and the loss of human life, including our own and
those of loved ones-- and bowing. Is that where we are? And what about
atonement?
So Stefan, though it's probably not much comfort, welcome to the club of
those who have a more direct and personal experience of the tragic
destruction of this government. Sadly, I fear that unless there is strenuous
action now that club may be growing until a time when few, except for Bush's
millionaire friends, hiding out in bunkers, will be able to consider
themselves exempt.
Those in the club have had the wake up call: if there is something to be
done, do it now. Don't wait. I hope that this time, there will be more of us
taking action. And I hope that those in this group with their sensitivity to
these issues will also sign on for our club as honorary members, and make
this a priority as I know many of you are doing.
Finally, I was so touched to hear your response to Anne Rice's article. A
close friend of my husband, Ed Levy, was the one who urged her publisher to
have her write something about New Orleans in the Times. We phoned into our
local jazz station and requested Louis Armstrong playing, "Do You Know What
It Means to Miss New Orleans?"
It was comforting to know that a small gesture to help did reverberate out
and comfort someone in the wake of this tragedy. And I hope that this note
helps a little too.
At a Buddhist retreat site Ed and I visited last weekend, I read a Buddhist
teacher saying that to grow spiritually, we have to become "psychologically
homeless." Having lost your city, that is now your condition, Stefan. And it
is all our situations, because we have all lost New Orleans, and the safety
of our world.
Alison
On 9/6/05 5:19 AM, merlin7win@xxxxxxx at merlin7win@xxxxxxx wrote:
Thank you Gary,,,,,,for that very insightful contribution to the forum. I
think I am the only person that is signed up on this forum that is actually
from New Orleans. If anyone else is from there please let me know. Not that
everyone one that has said something is not feeling deeply about it as
me,,,,,as I am sure all of us Healer/Priest/Priestess types register a big
upset in the Greater Soul with all the suffering and angst going on.
I could not weep the first couple of days out of shock, as I am sure it
brought up my own shocks and traumas that I received when I was growing up
down in the big easy. A brother 6 and another one at 12 have been down under
the swamps in their graves for many years. After I read what Anne
Rice.....who some of you may know as the vampire lady writer.. had to say I
broke down and cried. You can read her article @
Do You Know What It Means to Lose New Orleans? - New York Times
<http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/04/opinion/04rice.html?incamp=article_popula
r>
Wherever the blame falls......and what heads roll as a result......there are
four main points I would like everyone to know.......and that is that no
matter what the republican leaders say: 1) warning people to get
out.........two days before it hit. It would take at least 2 days to walk
out of New Orleans to get to Kenner and you would still be in
it......2)there were many people sick and in wheelchairs who could not walk
out with no transportation...3)when I was in a major hurricane living in the
big easy in 2001, the major newspaper the Times Picayune reported all summer
long that the Army Corp. of Engineers had petitioned for the money to fix
the levees and it was sanctioned......then 9/11 happened and all the money
got relocated to the war on terror in Iraq or Afg. or whereever.....and when
the Colonel complained about the coming disaster he was fired. 4) The
Louisiana National Guard which I used to be part of and knows how to get
people out under water and has all the equipment to get them out .....are
all in Iraq. How is that for Homeland Security.......all the protectors and
rescuers are gone over there to protect us from "them" and nobody here to
protect the people here in New Orleans from disaster. Anyway that is my two
cents worth. May all of Great Spirit's blessings be upon everyone.
Stefan Bajon
Santa Monica
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