Dear Stefan,
as a general rule, I have found that nephews, nieces and cousins do not belong
to our system, however, as with all 'rules' within family constellation work,
there are always exceptinos to rule. I expalin to my students that FC work is
like learning the English language, first you learn the grammar (rules), then
all the exceptions to the rule, of which there are more exceptino than the
rules themselves. I read papers with interest, but never take them as Gospel.
In the 'old days' it was said that abortions do not effect the living siblings,
well, I have seen plenty of cases where they certainly do. In cases where a
cousin may have been murdered, placed in an orphanage etc, etc I have seen
entanglements with cousins etc.
With the complexities of hman family systems, I find it unwise to make
statements like 'always' and 'never', it seems that every time I decide that a
phenomenon I've observed many, many times has now become a 'rule', the field
throws me a curve ball with the message 'except in this case or that case'. So
I've basically given up on making rules. I prefer to say, "in general, this or
that is usually true, however......". "However" being the operative word...."or
on the other hand"
John Payne
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The South African Institute for Family Constellations
Tel: 011 614 0821
www.familyconstellations.net
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----- Original Message -----
From: merlin7win@xxxxxxx
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2005 11:12 PM
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] A question of belonging....
Hello and Happy Thanksgiving to all on Constellation Talk. I have a question
I am puzzled about. I have read in a paper by a well known facilitator that
nieces and nephews do not belong to my system........however, my uncles and
aunts belong to mine. If I belong to my niece's system would it not make sense
that she belong to mine. Some comments would be appreciated on this.
Stefan Bajon
San Diego, Cal
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