RE: [ConstellationTalk] Bubula's generosity
- From: sheila saunders <peacefulcentre@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <constellationtalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Thu, 25 Oct 2007 02:41:52 -0400
Bubula, I did not overlook this; I was touched and found it a bit overwhelming
and did not know whether to respond publicly or privately. I decided that since
you made your kind words public, I would make my thanks public as well. I find
that when I am in my strength, challenge is appreciated and something that
stimulates self-reflection. When I am weakened by where I place myself or by
the influence of external events, challenge is taken personally. I am learning
more and more how to stay in my strength and also how to recognize the first
steps down the slippery slope towards defensiveness. I appreciate your taking
the time to give this feedback, and your kindness in making it public. It's a
uniquely generous gesture to offer this kind of acknowledgement. Thank you,
Bubula! all the best, sheila
Sheila Saunders, RN, LMFT www.systemicfamilysolutions.com
2007 US Conference on Systemic Constellations www.constellationsusa.com
PO Box 1011 Weaverville, North Carolina 28787
828-273-5015
Be realistic; expect a miracle.
But be patient.
The impossible takes slightly longer than the difficult.
To: ConstellationTalk@yahoogroups.comFrom: bubula@xxxxxxxxxx.auDate: Mon, 22
Oct 2007 16:31:57 +1000Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Recording
Dear Sheila,I have enormous respect at how you answer questions to do with FC,
but I have even more (respect) at how you reveal yourself on this forum when
you are even slightly challenged. That is so inspiring.Thank you and best
wishes,Bubula LardiAustraliaOn 21/10/2007, at 2:31 AM, sheila saunders wrote:>
David, and other readers,>> Thanks so much for continuing this dialogue. I
think it is an > important one and I hope that others will weigh in on it. As
for the > release I sent a copy of, yes, there is a contradiction, one that is
clearly identifed in the document with the word notwithstanding, > which
means in spite of, nevertheless, however, although> i.e. both things exist
in the presence of the other.>> The tapes of Berts work dating back to the mid
90s have been an > essential aspect of how I learned the work when I started.
There was > little writing at the time and these tapes provided the only >
opportunity next to workshop attendance, to learn from the source of > Berts
own learning, and from where he developed his understanding > about The Orders
of Love. In these tapes, I have seen the personal > pieces of a number of US
facilitators, myself included. If a potential > client saw me work and decided
I was not the person they wanted to > work with, they have made the best
decision for us both. A client > always has the prerogative of working with or
not working with me and > lack of confidence based on their interpretation of
who I am or who > Im not after seeing me do some personal work, is as good a
reason as > any. When my shame around my own work or issues comes up, I deal
with > it, realizing it is about me, not about any other person. Keeping my >
issues under wraps because of it only fuels it.>> This does not mean that I
would work anywhere with anyone under any > circumstances. I make some
discrimination about this, and still have > been fortunate to have had many
opportunities to work, all in the > presence of peers, colleagues or strangers,
some of it taped. In > general, though my issue is highly personal to me, it is
rarely > personal for anyone else. I become vulnerable in relation to my >
response to an issue or when faced with the opportunity for > resolution. All
the inter- and intra- psychic dynamics or historical > events so exhaustively
explored in conventional therapy, give more > opportunity for the client to
wallow around in their own ego - > something I would REALLY not want on tape!
(In fact, it is often when > someone is operating out of ego, that their
objection to being on tape > is greatest). I have come to realize that it is
not in the issue, but > rather in my ability to take steps towards the
resolution, that is a > greater measure of my character, and the area which
demands the most > courage and in which I reveal my vulnerability. It is also
the most > important aspect of developing myself as a guide for others on a >
similar road.>> As for my family, gosh, if I had recordings of all of the
kavetching I > have done about each and every member of my family of origin
over the > years, I could lay a road to China. I wasnt worried about their >
confidentiality then. Slander, pure and simple, all of it. So now, > when I am
looking in a serious way, at the outcome of events that my > family
members/ancestors experienced and endured, I use my own inner > compass to
determine whether or not I have permission to proceed; and > if I may proceed,
I make every effort to do so with respect, openness > and non-judgment. I am
also discriminating about who I ask to assist > me in my process, seeking out
those who use a well-developed maturity > and inner compass to guide them as
well.>> Sorry I wasnt more concise. All the best, sheila>>>>>>>> Sheila
Saunders, RN, LMFT www.systemicfamilysolutions.com> 2007 US Conference on
Systemic Constellations www.constellationsusa.com> PO Box 1011 Weaverville,
North Carolina 28787>> 828-273-5015>> Be realistic; expect a miracle.> But be
patient.> The impossible takes slightly longer than the difficult.>>> To:
ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> From: >> david@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> Date:
Sat, 20 Oct 2007 18:18:13 +1000> >> Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Recording
Guidelines> > Thanks Sheila, >> for posting this document re recording
guidelines. But > I have a >> dilemma.> > I do have my own issues re
confidentiality, I am very >> sensitive about > this. So I own up to this! But;
I think there is a >> conflict in the > document that was posted, and I guess
anything that >> is used for > educational purposes, it still seems like a
breach of >> confidentiality > to me.> > Confidentiality is such a big issue.
We >> can consent to recording > constellations, but I suppose we need to >>
consent for our family as > well, or maybe get permission from all of >> them
before hand. Our > families usually figure pretty strongly in >> our
constellations! > Getting permission from our families seems >> similar to
getting > permission to doing the constellation in the >> first place, but the
permission is for something different.> > I >> have pasted below the two
paragraphs I feel are in conflict in the > >> document posted by Sheila.> > *I
understand that confidentiality >> concerning all attendees and their >
situations as presented in the >> group is expected and required. I > hereby
agree to refrain from >> discussing the work outside of the > workshops, except
in such a way >> that each participants identity > remains confidential.> > >>
*Notwithstanding any previous statement, I also consent to the > >> conference
sessions being audio or video taped, and for the ensuing > >> copies to be used
for educational purposes, by myself and by others > >> who purchase such
copies. > > David.> > Melbourne, Australia>> [Non-text portions of this message
have been removed]>>>>> Yahoo! Groups Links>>>>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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