Dear All:
In the cases I had usually they have not taken their mother and have issues
with motherhood.
But one case gave a deep reflexion on the topic as the maternal grandmother had
pretended a pregnancy for 9 months and ended kidnaping a baby child from the
hospital which she kept for 7 months till police cleared the case.
The 3 grandaughters were not able to get pregnant, became childless as the
mother who was robbed from her baby.
Maria Dolores Paoli
Enviado desde mi BlackBerry de Movistar
-----Original Message-----
From: Joanna Malinowska <joanna@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sender: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Date: Mon, 28 Feb 2011 20:57:23
To: <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Reply-To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Do you have experiences on Inexplicable Lack
of Fertility and Constellation Work?
Dear Sabine,
I had many clients whom I help with fertility problems, using both
hypnotherapy and Family Constellations. It is true that sometimes the
fertility problems arise simply because mother is not mentally or
emotionally ready to have the child. You have a daughter, so you know that
giving the birth is only the beginning of being the mother. Very often
couples cannot conceive solely because of biological factors. And often the
fertility problems are rather mental, accompanied by strong negative
emotions, like fear, anger, lack of self-esteem, sometimes just general
anxiety and obsessive thinking, or eating disorder etc. In this case it is
better to solve the mental issues first, and it can be a lot of things, it
could be the systemic issue in the family of origin, it could be
relationship issue, but it maybe just a very high stress level at work.
Still, mental issues create physical symptoms, and they may cause a serious
illness.And of course, there also pure biological reasons, as it seems to be
in your case.
Usually, there are many factors, not just one, and solving systemic problems
is not enough, it needs to be followed up so the future mother learns how to
relax, becomes more confident, learns how to look after her body and how to
enjoy her life, starts loving herself. Solving systemic issues opens the
window and allows the change, but when it is not followed, the drafts may
come and the window shuts again.
So it makes sense to look at the systemic issues and to solve them, and this
may solve the fertility problem, because the couple becomes ready to be
parents, and body usually follows the mind.
However you are already the mother, the child is already here and now, in
your womb. You already love your child. This is all what you child needs,
LOVE, and it is here and now.
Family Constellations are about Love, this is all what it is about All
what the child needs is Love. Real true Love overcomes everything. So keep
your love on your heart and look at you child with love as it grows in your
womb.
Perhaps there would be some concern if you were to exclude the biological
mother (or perhaps the proper word would be genetic mother, as you are
carrying your child under your heart and you body cares for it
biologically). This would be restricting Love, and it always has
consequences. However, you are not excluding the other mother, so the child
will have even more Love. Love is unlimited. When the Love grows, the heart
grows and there are no limits to the amount of Love we can give or receive.
So when you let the child to receive Love from both of you, it is also OK to
let the child Love both of you. Can you do that?
No need to worry, just love your child and use Family Constellations to free
yourself from other entanglements or reconcile with your family of origin,
if you have such need. The genetic mother can do the same; or you can see
how it is now for both current families, including all children, and perhaps
strengthen the Love
With lots of love.
Cheers
Joanna Malinowska
On Mon, Feb 28, 2011 at 11:15 AM, Sabine Simmonds <ssimmonds@xxxxxxxxxxx>wrote:
Dear Helen & the rest of the Constellation group involved in this
discussion
Thank you to everyone for the really interesting input to this important
and fascinating topic. I have taken a little while to think about how I
wanted to reply to your query Helen and decided that I wanted to offer
myself as a kind of case study in this area. I am now 8 weeks pregnant with
a child from a egg donor (a very close friend) + my husband. I attended a
constellation workshop (before I fell pregnant) and unexpectedly encountered
some negative opinions & attitudes from the facilitator about the idea of
egg/sperm donation. I had wanted to do a constellation to see if there was
any energetic block to us falling pregnant. As we proceeded through the
interview the facilitator said that 'you had better not do it' because in
their experience children from such a process only had a lot of difficulty
coming to terms with that. At that point in the interview I began to feel
very uncomfortable (I felt judged & that the facilitator wasn't
neutral/open) & mutually we chose not to continue with the constellation.
I was a little shaken by the experience, but it didn't change the decision
my husband I had made to continue in our attempts to have this child. If
anything, it made me more determined & confident in our decision that if any
child were to come from this process it would be born out of love &
tremendous generosity. Perhaps that experience, as confronting as it was,
made a difference because within the next week we did the next embryo
transfer (it was the 6th attempt) & that is the one that has worked. Who
knows. I am just trusting of the process we have been through.
We already have a 2 year old daughter (my biological child - my last 'good'
egg!) and my friend who has donated her eggs to us has 2 daughters also. We
are chosing to be open with our children, friends & family about the egg
donation & the process we have been through. This child will know who it
belongs to, where it comes from and have open and close contact with the ½
sisters and my friend who is the biological mother. This openness cannot
guarantee against any future 'problems' or issues for the child, but I know
that we will all be loving & supportive through any issue or situation, as
we would be for any of our children.
I guess in speaking to those of you who are working with clients who have
fertility/infertility issues and are considering or have had egg/sperm
donation, I would like to say that the most important thing is to be
open-minded and non-judgemental. You are doing incredibly worthwhile work.
It is a deeply personal journey for the people involved. They may make
decisions that from the outside may be difficult to understand or agree
with. As ivf and fertility treatment is becoming more affordable and
available, things such as egg/sperm donation will become more widespread and
I imagine more people will seek constellation work as a way to process and
understand their experiences. I feel it has huge potential for good with
these issues.
Thank you again for opening this topic for discussion and I hope my input
has been helpful.
Regards
Sabine Simmonds
Senior Consultant
Level 5, 77 Berry Street
North Sydney NSW 2060
P: (02) 8912 3430
W: http://www.zaffyre.com<http://www.zaffyre.com/>
Sabine Simmonds
Senior Consultant
Level 5, 77 Berry Street
North Sydney NSW 2060
P: (02) 8912 3430
W: http://www.zaffyre.com<http://www.zaffyre.com/>
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:
ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Lene E
Sent: Tuesday, 22 February 2011 9:14 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Do you have experiences on Inexplicable Lack
of Fertility and Constellation Work?
Dear you!
I am new in this group, and I hope you will support me in getting started.
Introduction
I would like to introduce myself. I am a Danish coach and therapist with
background within gestalt therapy, NLP, hypnosis, the Enneagram and other
energetic methods. I am originally educated a food scientist. I have
received systemic constellation training from Albrecht Mahr, Ursula Franke,
Tom Bryson and Liv Danhyo.
Fertility Area
I have specialized within the fertility area, and I am very interested in
applying constellation work on helping Danes reaching their dream of having
a child. It might seem controversial to some of you, but these people
suffers a lot and they are in great pain. I have a feeling that this tool
can be really helpful and save them a great amount of money on the costly
fertility treatments. I think the tool and understanding The Order of Love
will be beneficial both to the parents and to their future children.
Questions
Have you done any constellationwork on issues related to Lack of fertility?
Or on donor-issues? Donor-children?
Do you know of anybodyelse who has?
Do you know of books or publications that describe application of
constellationwork on this area?
If you are interested, I will be happy to share my experiences and results,
when I have gone futher into this field. Just let me know if you are
interested.
Thank you so much in advance!!
Best regards,
Lene Eriksen
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