Hi Liz,
Thank you for the courage to bring up this topic. One sentence of yours got my
attention, about whether it would be a good idea to address this at a workshop
for beginners. For me, in this instance, I’d want to explore the possibility
that I have charge about this issue and topic. It wouldn’t be unusual, given
the content. And to make sure that I’d resolved any of my own charge before
figuring out the right context for my client. My personal guess is that I
wouldn’t want to put him in a position to deal with the possible reactions of
people who are new to the work, but if the container is good enough, almost
anything is workable. Just some thoughts. Thanks!
The Rev. Leslie Nipps
Convivium Constellations - Founder, Practitioner & Trainer
“Trust as a Way of Life…”
www.conviviumconstellations.com
"Hasten to that which supports." - The I Ching
On Jun 7, 2017, at 7:11 AM, bizden titiz bizdentitiz@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
This is interesting.
İ have two sons and i ve never felt anything sexual towards them,
Nor my two brothers, nor father.
Perhaps i am "abnormal" and
can not understand all these issues of
Men with "uncontrollable" sexual desires...
İ do not think Medicine nor biology supports that " belief"
Of many...as far as i am aware..
Bizden, MD
On 07 Jun 2017, at 08:46, Liz Jelinek lizjelinek@xxxxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hi again Kara. Thanks for your reminder that we covered this very topic with
Berthold. So I went to my notes that I had not yet transcribed.ed So I found
the constellation and here’s Berthold’s words of wisdom:
Sexual Feelings of a Father for his Daughter
From Workshop 2016-2017—Berthold Ulsamer
What can a father say to his daughter when she reaches puberty? And what is
the correct attitude of a father to his daughter as she approaches puberty—an
attitude that will continue after puberty. There is always an under-current
of a sexual energy from a father towards his daughter that’s not necessarily
culturally specific.
Father to his daughter as she approaches puberty: You are becoming a woman,
but I am still your father. At times I feel I am sexually attracted to you.
And when I turn to my mother I have an attraction to her as well. So I will
keep what’s mine and I leave you with what’s yours. Now I can be your father.
These words lessen the sexual charge the father feels towards his daughter.
The actual words are not that important, it’s the attitude the father has
towards his daughter that counts and the right attitude of a father to his
daughter must come from the right place. However, in order for a father to
have a good relationship with his daughter and to be a good father, he must
first heal his relationship with his own parents, especially with his mother.
Hope this helps others, it certainly helped me. I will use this with my
client the next time we meet.
Liz Jelinek, PhD
On Jun 7, 2017, at 1:45 AM, Liz Jelinek lizjelinek@xxxxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Kara, thanks for your compassionate concern for this man. At the risk of
being banished from this group, he is so split off from most of his SELF as
described by Franz Ruppert. He has lived his entire life in a shadow, merely
showing up as a “Good Boy” and doing what he’s told to do—mostly by his
wife. I could feel his sadness as I read your post and I thank you for
reminding me that he, too is a victim. He is so guilt ridden at having these
thoughts, but was never able to express them until he’d reconciled a lot.
When he openly admitted the lustful feelings for his daughter I asked him
directly if he thinks he might have actually violated her in some way. He
admitted that although he has no memory, he’s ready to explore the
possibility. I’m wondering if I should tackle this one at a workshop I’m
giving this weekend that’s mostly for beginners?
Thanks Kara
Liz Jelinek, PhD
On Jun 7, 2017, at 12:34 AM, Kara Fischerova
klara_fischerova@xxxxxxxxx[ConstellationTalk]
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Oh wow. My heart goes out to him and his family💝
I represented a grandfather in a constellation once, who was pedophile. The
urge to "hump" the person in front of me that was in a child pose was sooo
strooong and I am a woman! I pulled the facilitator to the side because I
was so afraid I may be making it up!
His family did know that about him so the facilitator knew what to do.
It was a blind constellation for his grandchild and I didn't know whom I
represented.
The facilitator decided to go back in time when something happened and
grandfather (the perpetrator)was a victim.
The energy was so strong I literally had to lie down on the floor, face
down and I was rhythmically moving, my legs spread apart and tears
streaming down my face.
We let the energy move through for what was probably just not even a minute
but felt like 10 min as it was so intense and shocking, until it ceased.
There wasn't a person in the room that didn't feel compassion for the man.
It was the most intense or touching role I ever represented. I can never
look at pedophiles with the judgment I felt prior to this constellation. I
get the transe they are in as well. Never experienced it in any other role.
By having been witnessed so raw, the strong urge I felt before to hump
the grandchild subsided. The constellation was done for the grand son not
the grandfather. I believe the family came because the grand son was
violent.
The grandfather has never been with the grandchild. The family knew of the
danger. I don't know if his urge subsided but the child got better.
Hope it helps. Lots of love💝🌈✨
Klara
Sent from my iPhone
On Jun 6, 2017, at 7:12 PM, Dr Liz Jelinek
lizjelinek@xxxxxxxxxxx[ConstellationTalk]
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
I have a male client who's 65+. He admitted to me finally that he has
feelings of lust for his married daughter. She's furious with him and
refuses to talk to him. She tells her mother he's impossible to be with so
she's staying away from all family functions until she "heals." I asked
him directly if he ever touched her inappropriately. He remembers nothing
but has agreed to work on that possibility.
He attends my Facilitator Training, regular and Trauma workshops and also
sees me individually.
I'd appreciate any suggestions. I work well with Playmobil figures in
individual sessions, but wonder what you folks recommend.
There's also evidence he may have been molested by a resident of the
facility for delinquent teenagers his father ran. The family lived right
in the facility and he admits being regularly left alone with several of
these troubled teens.
Thx for any feedback or suggestions. BTW he was separated from mom
following birth because he was so tiny.
Best Liz
Liz Jelinek, PhD
