Very interesting Dan, thank you. I liked your line 'the wisdom to know the
difference' in particular. I think for me it is connected to 'being seen'. If I
feel 'not seen' by others then I feel reactive and want to inflate myself in
order to get seen but of course, because it is an inflation I still do not feel
seen. Or I sit silent and feel secretly superior - still inflated. Compliments
from others sometimes leave me feeling acknowledged and satisfied and at other
times, they feel overstated and I want to shrink from them and still I don't
feel seen. I know I do this to others too. It is a two-way process.
Barbara
-----Original Message-----
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]On Behalf Of Daniel Cohen
Sent: 15 May 2005 12:52
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Inflation Part II
It’s Sunday morning and I’m in New York City midway through
the ASP Spirituality, Psychotherapy and Healing conference.
My experiences from yesterday shed some light on the question
of ego inflation.
The program includes dozens of workshops by
spirituality-oriented therapists. I presented Constellation
work as part of a panel entitled, “Reconciliation Through
Forgiveness.” As the titled of my presentation suggests, the
insights of Constellations fall outside the common territory
of much spiritually-oriented psychotherapy.
In my own presentation, and as I attended other sessions
during the day, I kept confronting statements, techniques,
assertions, and assumptions that run counter to my own views.
I’m not sure whether I should elaborate or whether those on
this list are well-aware of these contradictions.
One key difference was the assumption that soul is something
unique to the individual. There are plenty more.
Many of these practitioners made much bigger promises about
the value and benefit of their techniques than I would dare
make. One discovered the universal secret to world peace.
Another proved it scientifically. A third one tossed around
obscure superstitions as if they were established facts.
Watching one of them work was frightening. One of them
insisted I had a phobia, which she immediately dissolved.
It was very tempting for me to discredit the others' work
based on my superior knowledge, experience and expertise.
“She’s wrong about that.” “That intervention won’t solve
anything.” “Here’s what I would do instead.”
This is my formula for ego inflation. Put me into a
conference filled with practitioners of sure-fire,
scientifically-proven, recently re-discovered ancient
wisdom-based, enlightened, spiritual, healing methods and I
will emerge convinced mine is superior to theirs.
Sorry to cut this short, but I misplaced my crown yesterday
whilst I was having an imaginary argument in my head with
another workshop leader about whether the soul is something we
have or something that has us. I'm off to the mountaintop to
search for it.
Dan
Date: Sun, 15 May 2005 08:39:06 +1000
From: "Chris Walsh" <chrisjwalsh@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> Add To
Address Book | This is Spam
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Inflation
To: <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Thankyou Leah for making such a crucial distinction so
beautifully and so poetically.
Let's not confuse inflation with the deep sense of
satisfaction we feel when a constellation
goes well and "the gift" is given, both to the client and to
ourselves.
Then we feel we are in touch with something Great.
If that lifts our spirits to great heights we can enjoy the ride.
The question that then raises for me is:
What qualities characterise this deep sense of satisfaction in
contrast to those which characterise inflation?
hasta la vista
Chris Walsh
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