Thank you so much, Francesca, for getting to the heart of the original
perspectives and teachings. It's something that needs to be reclaimed even
within the aboriginal communities that were conditioned by the Christian
outlook towards sexuality. I've been in many Native ceremonies and circles
and encountered homophobia and very traditional views of what a man's role
is and a woman's role. It saddens me because I know that the original
shamanic healers and spiritually inclined peoples where not of that mindset
and had a more light-hearted and playful approach to honouring the Great
Spirit. So it's important to understand for non-Native facilitators who
haven't had much experience within Aboriginal communities to know that the
colonial viewpoint of sexuality has also infiltrated into very active
communities to this day and not presume that it is this open minded
awareness of sexual diversity that you outline below.
Your references are refreshing and can help us come back to the original
balance that connects us to life, body, sensuality, play and wisdom.
In gratitude,
Heather
-----Original Message-----
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Michael Reddy
Sent: Sunday, July 07, 2013 3:54 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Cc: Mason Boring Francesca; Payne John; Thomas Bryson; Cohen Dan; ed lynch;
Mark Wolynn; Eva Arriaga
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] New genders
Hi All,
Thanks again Leslie and others for another important and fascinating thread.
Time constraints keep me from keeping up with Ctalk as much as I was able to
previously, so I've hesitated to respond of late. I hesitate also to write
this, because it opens a large and complex subject, about which it would
take much care and space to speak carefully--but feel compelled to write
regardless.
There was a decade the late eighties and nineties, in the earlier part of my
public shamanic practice in New York City when I was involved with many LGBT
people. This means "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender," to those who
may perhaps not be familiar with the acronym. The thoughts I quickly ouline
here come from that exprerence, as well as careful reading of three landmark
books, which I strongly recommend to anyone with interest in this subject.
Spirit and the Flesh: Sexual Diversity in American Indian Culture by Walter
L. Williams (Apr 1, 1992)
Blossom of Bone - Reclaiming the Connections Between Homoeroticism and the
Sacred by Randy P. Conner (Nov 1993)
Brain Sex: The Real Difference Between Men and Women by Anne Moir and David
Jessel (Aug 1, 1992)
The first two books make it clear that the status of gay or cross-gendered
people in most (not all) indigenous, and many other cultures worldwide,
before the onslaught of patriarchal and Judeo-Christian thinking--was
relatively high. They were consdered
touched by Spirit,
meant to be the glue that held those more polarized in regard to sex and
gender together, held high positions in family life, and often became
healers, ministers, shamans. (can't say "priest" or "priestess" here)
In the Americas, these sacred types of people were annihlated by largely
Christian explorers as abominations so early on (see Williams, above)--to
the point where little remains of their presence in the world. Vinay
pointed out correcly I believe that our current culture forces us to "choose
a binary because that's how [it believes] the world operates," and that
crossgendered people are in fact a "unique holding of the two polarities."
In Lakota, the language of the American Sioux, such people are called
"winkte," which means "twin souls." Those with both genders. They are a
form of "heyoka," which means those who tend towards the sacred opposites,
in order to keep the culture of the tribes from becoming too one-sided.
The third book, Brain Sex, argues with scientific support which seems to
have sustained itself over the years that gender and sexual preference are
separate spectra, heavily influenced by the flow of hormones in the mother's
womb. This suggests that, while some gender or sexual "disphoria" may be
related to personal or ancestral trauma, some of it may also be also simple
biology and not necessarily, as Dan says, "just a loyalty to someone of the
opposite gender from the past." Or sometimes it may be both, if we think of
epigenetics. In any case, some gender or sexual preference issues may want
to resolve with healing, but I think many do not need any resolving--they
are the way the person is supposed to be. It is society that needs the
resolving.
Our very language, in contrast to indigenous cultures, embodies polarized
distinctions in this area. To say, "oh, well it's a woman in a man's body"
got (and still gets) involved in too many confusing arguments. I started to
use (and still use) other ways of speaking when I have to talk about people
in this regard. So, with the fact that gender is a always on a spectrum,
not an either/or thing, always in mind--I speak of "persons in male bodies
whose energies are strongly Yin," and "persons in female bodies whose
energies are strongly Yang." Those energies may express in any number of
characteristic ways. We'll sort that out carefully and separately.
I don't have time to document this now, but I believe the Original Kinsey
Report in the US also found that most people were not absotely polarized
about sexual preference, but rather existed on a spectrum with most
clustered around either end.
In fact, I believe it is true that even the reproductive biology of the
human form natureally produces a certain number of physical hermaphordites.
We never hear of or experience such people because they medical system tells
parents they need to be "fixed"--or else grow up as freaks.
The term we used to use for our society and our behavior is that it was
"gender bent." It was pushed by social norms towards either/or extremes
that made it difficult to be anything in between. So, we too, all of
us--are "genderbent" by it. And yet, if there are two distinct and
independent spectra, one of gender and one of sexual preference, then we
have in our midst people who are:
NOT AT HOME IN THE GENDER of the body they inhabit (more or less) while
being at the same time physically gay, or bi, or straight (more or less);
and people who ARE PEACEFULLY AT HOME IN THE GENDER OF THE BODY THEY INHABIT
(more or less) while being at the same time physically gay, or bi, or
straight (more or less).
This is a vast range of different energy combinations that has been
suppressed and thus gone largely ignored in our societies.
What does this mean for constellation work? I can't say I've really sorted
out the dissonance here between the strongly polarized way I received the
constellation perspective and these other studies and experiences. I think
the biological aspects of paternity and maternity are what is mostly focused
on in the strong distinction between fathers and mothers in the way we we
are told to handle "men" and "women" in constellations. But then I haven't
had the blessing (and probably never will) of sitting in a circle with a
person who is biologically capable of performing both roles. And yet it
seems like such beings might possibly have existed, or be able to exist
today, if not eradicated shortly after birth.
In terms of who in a constellation workshop is allowed to stand with the
women and who with the men, I hold to a certain openness about that. Here
is a link to an NYT article about a young child who identifies as female
even though in a male body. The US courts decided that it was
discrimination to keep this child from using the girls bathrooms in the
school.
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/24/us/agency-says-district-discriminated-agai
nst-transgender-student.html?hp
Here's what the court's ruling said: "evolving research on transgender
development showed that 'compartmentalizing a child as a boy or a girl
solely based on their visible anatomy, is a simplistic approach to a
difficult and complex issue'."
Such a person should not be forced to butcher the body in order to conform
to skewed societal norms. If someone that strongly to the Yin side of the
gender spectrum were to show up in a constellation workshop, I would
probably be moved (or even told by the Knowing Field) to let her/him stand
with the women. At the same time, I would be faced with a different, social
dilemma in making that choice. If it freaked out my client in the
constellation because the client and most people in the circle were
"genderbent," I might set up three kinds of people: the men, the women, and
the twin souls.
Perhaps that's a possible solution for some of us constellators, to follow
the indigenous peoples, and say, "well, there is a middle type here, neither
strictly man nor strictly woman." And to acknowledge that that middle type
is ancient and sacred and important as well.
I'm sorry for the length here, and for having to touch on many hard to
articulate subjects so quickly. Perhaps others will want to expand on this
subject on this forum. At the same time, I think these issues need to be
opened up much more deeply among us.
Sincerely,
Michael
Michael Reddy, PhD, CPC, ELI-MP
michael@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx 610 469 7588
www.reddyworks.com
Relieving Chronic Emotional/Physical Suffering using Family Constellations |
Core Energy Coaching | EFT | Shamanism
On Jul 2, 2013, at 1:08 PM, Leslie Nipps wrote:
This topic brings up something I have been thinking about quite a bitby his inability to join in the gender-specific roles.
lately. In the Bay Area and around the world, there has been an
explosion of new experiences of gender. The phenomenon is nothing new,
but its growth lately, with the decrease of stigma and the increase of
new role models, is striking. I usually run my constellation events in
an intentionally blind format, so we don't assign roles by gender (a
necessity anyway, since my attendees are preponderantly female), but
on rare occasions, assigning by gender seems important to the client's
outcome. On one of these nights, one of my occasional attendees who
is, I think, female-to-male transgender, but who generally goes
without a specific gender designation, was insulted and felt very excluded
our systemic thinking.
I still feel clear that what I did was in service to the client.
However, it does raise the question of how we view all this in
constellation work, where the role of male and female is so very
central to the paradigm. How do we 1) include alternatively-gendered
clients, and 2) understand the role of non-female and -male genders
respectfully in the system? Right now I have a spiritual directee who
considers himself gender-queer, and I can only imagine the critique he
would have of the way we tend to assume the place of males and females in
cultures.
I have some thoughts on this myself, but I am really, really curious
about how members of this group are thinking about this emergence in our
be highly evolved beings.
I'm excited about what you will say!
Peace, Leslie
The Rev. Leslie Nipps, NLP & Family Constellations Practitioner
"Trust as a Way of Life..."
<http://www.leslienipps.com> www.leslienipps.com
<mailto:leslie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> leslie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
_____
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Heather Embree
Sent: Tuesday, July 02, 2013 7:24 AM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: RE: [ConstellationTalk] Re: Divine Feminine: What Does She Want?
Thank you so much for stating this, Dan. It is true on many levels and
yet I wonder why the divine tries to express itself through
male/female physical forms. There is something about active/receptive
and the unique wisdoms that both experiences allow. The two-spirited
people or those who have an androgynous balance within, are considered to
Mastery of both in awareness and consciousness, allows lovingthe role of the feminine in that culture.
accepting of all parts in a balanced, healthy way. This is why I love
the movement of transgendered peoples, bisexuality and queer
lifestyles. The courage to break out of the box and be oneself in all
the ways of loving while in the face of societal backlashes is a
remarkable and beautiful act of Higher Love. Yet, even within those
communities, historically many stopped the evolutionary flow by just
identifying and acting out of pure sexuality, which ultimately was
necessary for self-exploration, and instead self-destructed rather
than embracing the full potential for great, universal love.
May we support all of us to find the balance of the masculine/feminine
energies within to allow for greater loving consciousness.
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com> ] On Behalf Of Dan Booth
Cohen, PhD
Sent: Monday, July 01, 2013 10:48 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
Subject: RE: [ConstellationTalk] Re: Divine Feminine: What Does She Want?
Dear Anni and others -
In one sense, there is no masculine or feminine. For the interactions
of energy and matter in quantum space-time, masculine and feminine are
meaningless.
In one sense, the definitions of masculine and feminine are cultural
constructs. Naming God the Father, may tell us nothing about the truth
of God or fathers, but it does exert tremendous influence in the lives
of nearly every human, certainly all of us who speak and read English.
In one sense, masculine and feminine are physiologically determined.
Men have two tongues. Women have two mouths. Every human grows from a
father's seed and mother's egg in the womb.
There are some qualities of masculine and feminine that are
meaningless, some that are cultural constructs and some that are
physical facts. I have complex relationships with many women. I
sometimes struggle to be mediate between spirit, soul and body. Some
relationships fail, some endure, some become electric.
Thomas Bryson has written about human consciousness as having multiple
aspects like the ocean, the wave, and the water drop. Constellations
expand our awareness beyond the perspective of the drop. We can feel
the pull of the rise and fall of the wave we call the family system.
Some Constellations go beyond the drop and the wave. The ocean speaks
to us directly: "I am water. Feel me loving every part of you - there
is no part that I do not love!"
Dan
Dan Booth Cohen, PhD
2013 US Systemic Constellations Conference, October 10-13, Seattle, WA
<http://constellateus.com/conference2013/>
6th North American Systemic Constellations Intensive, July 31 - August
4, 2013, Farmington, CT <http://constellateus.com/intensive2013/>
<http://www.hiddensolution.com/> www.HiddenSolution.com
781-718-7158
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com> ] On Behalf Of anni
Sent: Saturday, June 29, 2013 8:17 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Re: Shiva, Kali, Divine Feminine,
Destroyer of the Worlds
Hello to all, The conversations here are so enriching. I want to add
to the thought Carolyn had when she wrote:
"This image of the divine couple certainly gives us a different view
than that of the Male War God and Subservient Sinful Woman stripped of
her own divinity. This image of the divine, and other Goddess images,
challenge the polarized assignments of attributes that are currently
considered to be "naturally" masculine or feminine. Such examination
might even challenge some of the "truths" we see in the field."
Yes, I do agree that whatever our learnings, they have the capacity to
influence the "truth" of what we see and do not see. It is not only
images but other blindnesses we have from language and culture that
make our way of seeing so difficult to shift. Here as we speak of
feminine and masculine we have been in most of this discussion in a
masculine based culture where power and status are aligned with what
we see as masculine qualities. My own culture of the Saami people
historically was quite different although the colonization by European
religious and cultural attitudes has nearly obliterated even references to
From what I can glean, women of this indigenous culture were not only
equals in hunting and politics but in spirituality the feminine
appears to have the highest of places. Being an Arctic culture, the
sun is the most important deity and this is a female goddess. The
feminine comprises many of the qualities we see many times in other
cultures as male qualities. So is this a truth?
I am currently reading a novel in which the author describes the
ancient Saami virgin not as a chaste woman but rather a woman who is
sexually active but has no man to which she answers. She is not married.
Why am I giving this information? Primarily, the truth as Carolyn
suggests is coloured by our experience and the myths to which we give
credence. Truth is an evasive quality. As facilitators, we are called
to observe. At which point when we speak are we being true to truth or
only to the truth we believe we know.
Working with First Nations indigenous individuals in Canada, I have
observed an order in some families that is different than the order we
frequently see in families of European descent. Are the orders a truth
or a truth for that cultural system?
Can we say with clarity what is feminine or masculine? Are these
inherent truths or socially accepted systemic manifestations?
Have a lovely weekend, Anni
_._,___
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