Dear David,
Thanks for sharing this amazing constellation story with us. I have for the
past
few months been reflecting upon systems within systems or fields within fields
and the acknowledgement and messages of drought and water were revealed at the
bottom of my enquirey. My browsing through the paridigams of spiral dynamics,
complexity theories, quantam coherance and incohesiveness lately have widened
my
perspectives of what is really happening within all groups and systems:
including our FC family world wide. If life and Barbara allows it a new
contribution to the next Knowing Field in January will outline much about this.
And David this recent journey began and follows on from a post you made on CT a
few months ago about Health Issues For Constellation Workers.
I would just like to outline that when a group or family becomes too cohesive
it
loses its ability to become an adaptive system, that is it loses permeability
or
its ability to diffuse or exchange via its boundaries of loyalty. A family or
group field becomes very dry and desertlike when it fails to absorb anything
new
from outside and also refuses to discard something old that no longer serves
growth within the system. At this point it stops exchanging and hence loses
its
connection to life, death life process. This is drought......a dry sense of
disconnectedness. Life beyond loyalty is the water. It is as you describe a
cool sense of connectedness in reverence for something greater, quite unlike
our
love in relationships.
Kind regards
Sadhana
________________________________
From: David Mathes <david@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Sun, November 28, 2010 11:45:28 AM
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Re: Life, love and entanglements
Thanks to all for your sharings.
Dear Thomas, Kay and Francesca
Thomas,
you say "I suggest that the systemic loyalties are biologically based and
primarily serve survival."
I often find in Constellations it is often the opposite to this when the client
comes to the workshop. It is often the family/systemic loyalty that threatens
the future of the family. I find it useful to recognise this in Business
Constellations also, as these are often about the life/survival of the family
also.
And you say Thomas "The task of the client is to become a full member of the
system as an adult, saying yes to their full inheritance, but not being limited
to its patterns. The work of the adult is to integrate the internal structures
and update them to present circumstances."
Yes, I agree. In Constellations when representatives let go of systemic
loyalties a helpful movement is for them to integrate their own way. Eg a man
came to a private session saying he had been to several workshops but never
knew
what his case was. We noticed that his body kept on bringing him to
Constellations. We had a little laugh together. We set up a Constellation to
see
what his issue was, and this led to him letting go of what he was carrying for
his lost twin sister. The client was very creative and was concerned he would
lose his creativity. We represented his own creativity and that of his sisters
and then he was happy and peaceful.
Kay,
regarding your thoughts on Love and Entanglements, I agree with much of what
you
say. After I mentioned love in my post I wondered how I knew it was love I was
speaking about. The type of love I was referring to I have only experienced a
handful of times outside of Constellations. Two weeks ago a woman came to a
workshop with 'not a very positive outlook on life'. She struggled with life
and
things were quite dark. In her Constellation from a group of ancestors a very
heavy role emerged. At first we did not know what it was. But the
representative
only looked at the client's rep and she only looked at him. He thanked her.
Then
he said that the people at the workshop should have a drink of water. The
representative was drought. Then, from the circle a representative came forward
and after a while we realised this was water. Drought and water looked at each
other with an amazing love, that at the same time was not amazing. It was
stable, flowing, eternal, and pressed no claim or need. I know this because for
a while I represented drought. I wondered, how do I know this is love. I don't
know why, I just know. It is very deep and is not a love that I would usually
experience in a relationship. The ancestors were angry with drought and the
client was still the one looking at the drought. After a while a phrase was
given to us, 'without drought, the ancestors would not value water' . Now the
anger from the ancestors resided. The ancestors spontaneously thanked the
drought and some bowed to it. Gradually the client's rep turned away from the
drought and stood with the drought behind it. Both the client's representative
and the client looked out of the window. "I can see brightness now" And the
ancestors were happy. Life, Love and Entanglement.
Fran.
Thank you for what you say about the 'bigness'. I think sometimes accepting the
fate of the family, and the size of it, is so useful and liberating in
Constellations.
I am not an indigenous person but I am drawn to work with 'minorities' and I
wonder if this helps my own healing, maybe of some trauma that occurred when my
family once could have said, 'We are indigenous'.
Even though I bring my beliefs to Constellation work, I am very grateful to
Constellations, and to those who come to workshops, for teaching me.
David Mathes
www.innersuccess.net.au
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