A very interesting thread and I have thought very carefully if I should reply.
I have never experienced any kind of sexual violence, but when this thread
started I set up a constellation. I stood looking at the perpetrator and I
felt rage.
In a facilitated constellation I represented the father in a very dysfunctional
family. The father had experienced sexual abuse as an adolescent and looking
at the perpetrators the father was overcome with rage.
Rage is a primary feeling that takes over your body and your mind and it took
me some time to de-role.
My question is how do facilitators deal the this.
Bert Hellinger's article in the recent Knowing Field Journal on the resolution
of the longstanding struggle between Turkey and Armenian is a beautiful
description of how we should transcendour primary feelings, but it is spiritual
and does not in any way move towards resolution of that conflict.
There are the systemic solutions which we all have see and can work so
beautifully with acknowledgement, acceptance, love, inclusion and more. And
there are the spiritual solutions which we can only hope to be blessed with.
________________________________
From: Sneh Victoria <sneh.victoria@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Monday, February 6, 2012 6:42 AM
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Re: rape
Dear Michael,
thank you very much for your words!
What you describe is also something very dear to my heart: namely to
listen carefully, what a person says when talking about forgiveness.
Not only listen, but rather "sense" and when I am not sure, to take
time to ask. This attitude might help with other ways we use language
as well- no matter in which countrie's tongue.
I do remember once having listened to a holocost surviver, a woman
who's name I have unfortunately forgotten. She said something along
the following line: until I was able to forgive I could not heal.
Through the hatred I stayed in bondage with the perpetrators. Only
when I was able to forgive I could start healing.
I remember how these words stayed as a very important impression in
my mind and heart. It changed the way I used the constellation
assumption: forgiveness is bad, because it puts you higher than the
perpetrator.
To forgive can very much have the meaning of letting go of the
charge. In that way it can be an ultimately freeing act that puts you
neither on top nor below someone else, but right into the middle of
youself.
And I am very glad we have this forum to ponder such and similarly
important issues!
Sneh
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