Thankyou Vinay for sharing this wonderful experience of male bonding within
the context of also making good connection with the women in the family. It
sounds so good and so healthy and so missing from our normal day to day life
in our society.
Clearly men too are very important in families, as grandfathers, fathers,
brothers and sons. However it is still the women who look after most of the
emotional connecting in families. Ask yourself who makes the telephone
calls to other members of your family, the husband or the wife? Often a man
will only get in touch with members of his own family, when his wife reminds
him to do so. He may even rely on his wife to make the telephone calls.
Even now as we are entering the 21st century, mens focus still tends to be
outside the family on their career and on being a good provider. There are
many practicalities that conspire to reinforce this as a reasonable
solution. For example men and women on a career path are severely
disadvantaged if they dont spend lots of time doing after hours networking.
Usually men sacrifice family contact for their careers and women the
reverse.
However, this does not mean that men are unimportant in families. When we
look at the family history of people who suffer addictions, we can observe
that early death of fathers and grandfathers is much more common than would
be expected. Clearly the absence of fathers from a childs life has an
enormous impact.
Family constellations are less verbal than most therapies, so many men feel
more comfortable with this process than traditional therapies. So family
constellations present an opportunity for men to become reengaged in the
emotional life of families. However, men need support and encouragement from
sympathetic women. Men need to hear that they are important and valued in
their families. They need to know there is a road map available and they
need to know that their way of engagement will be respected. Family
constellations both provide a road map and respect for different modes of
engagement.
Nonetheless many practitioners still have a lot of trouble getting enough
men to their workshops and even give in to the point of accepting women
representing men. This is clearly a less than satisfactory solution. So in
response to Sheilas question about the USA conference I would be interested
in a workshop or lecture about strategies for recruiting men to workshops
hasta la vista
Chris Walsh
Melbourne, Australia
webpage: www.cwalsh.com.au
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Steve Vinay Gunther
Sent: Friday, 18 May 2007 6:27 AM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Rites of passage
I wanted to let you folks know about a camp I just came back from
called Pathways to Manhood. I attended with my 14 year old son.
It was run by a group called Pathways Foundation (
http://www.pathwaysfoundation.com.au/ ;).
It involved 6 days in the bush, at a secluded site. Every day was
very carefully structured and managed by a well trained and committed
team of men. There were sessions in the tipi where the men shared
their stories, experiences and learnings with the boys. The camp was
organised around quality contact between the men, the boys, the whole
group, and oriented around developing a sense of community. There was
a nice balance between challenge and support, and you could see both
boys and men thriving. The food was great as well - two entertaining
chefs who cooked up a storm.
The entry day to the camp was a community event which involved the
mothers, with a number of rituals where the boys connected to and
then separated from them. The reentry was also a community day, where
mothers, step mothers, grandparents and siblings welcomed the young
men back.
Two of the boys whose fathers were not in their lives were
accompanied by uncle figures, who played an important role in
supporting the boys in their transition to manhood.
The camps are a wonderful process - helping healing between fathers
and sons, and teaching respect for and learning from previous
generations.
They are also starting with mother -daughter camps as well.
Vinay Gunther
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Northern Rivers Gestalt Institute
15 Coleman St, Lismore,
NSW, 2480 Australia
Ph/Fax (02) 66 213 911
admin@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx <mailto:admin%40gestalt.org.au>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"We are in the soul, not the soul in us."
Bert Hellinger
* GESTALT training in the Northern Rivers:
http://www.gestalt.org.au
* GANZ (Gestalt Australia And New Zealand):
http://www.ganz.org.au
* Prout - an alternative socio-economic vision:
http://www.prout.org
* Follow your life-dream - excellent support from Barbara Sher:
http://www.barbarasher.com
* Health and Healing in Cebu:
http://www.amwellness.org
* Online Gestalt course:
http://www.drzur.com/gestaltcourse.html
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
