I’m curious—did this situation have a “bad effect” on the constellation? Was it
something in hindsight that was making the process difficult? Or, did it go
okay?
The Rev. Leslie Nipps
NLP & Family Constellations Practitioner
“Trust as a Way of Life…”
www.leslienipps.com
Co-Director, 2015 North American Systemic Constellations Conference in San
Diego on November 12-15.
Visit ConstellateUs.com/conference2015 for more information
On Oct 3, 2015, at 3:35 PM, liz.sleeper@xxxxxxxxx [ConstellationTalk]
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hi all,
I would really appreciate some guidance/input/feedback on the following
situation, which has left me alarmed.
Last week, I ran an evening constellation workshop. Members of the public had
signed up to attend via a 3rd party organisation that were hosting the
workshop.
There were 8 women and one man. The man was a bit odd. He couldn't look people
in the eye, mumbled and looked at the floor a lot. That description makes him
sound simply shy, but he did seem more odd than that. He said he had come
because a woman that he was very fond of had recommended he go to a family
constellation workshop.
One of the women was the issue holder, she came from a family where that had
been a violent step father, and much intergenerational trauma and loss. Her
family were from one of the Balkan states.
When she started speaking about her issue in the initial interview, everything
came pouring out - story after story of relatives who had committed suicide, or
lost someone, or been cut off or out in some way. She doesn't know who her
father is - her mother tells her it could be one of two men, but nobody will do
a DNA test to confirm anything.
Today she emailed me to tell me that the man in the group, was someone she had
met two years earlier, and he has a romantic interest in her. He sends her
texts that she ignores. When he said someone had told him to do a family
constellation he was talking about her.
This has really alarmed me. Neither she nor the man had intimated that they
knew each other in any way during the workshop. I am disturbed at this news.
Usually I ask at the beginning of the workshop for people to say who they know
in the group and it is odd that I didn't ask that at the beginning of this one.
I will never miss that step out again!
But in terms of maintaining safety in a group - has anyone any further comments
or advice they could give from their own experiences?
How does one balance "everything belonging" with safety in a group?
