Dear friends,
This is a subject I hold close to my own personal expirience. From very
early age to around 13 years of age I was a thumbsucker.
My own personal expirience was of my parents separating when I was four and
I can't recall if I did it before that or not.
Also my grandmother from my mother side did all she could to make me stop
and she always failed. Sometimes that felt like a challenge where we would
both fight to get ahead.
I stopped one day just purely because I didn't feel the need to do it
anymore.
But for me, I think this is the most important info I can share, there are
two specific points that have led me to some meditation.
First, is that for me the thumbsucking brought me to a state of very relaxed
peacefullness. Fealing relaxed and protected. I can still remember how I
felt so close to being in that state inside my mothers belly.
Second, I later replaced the thumbsucking with other compulsotory
behaviours. Biting my nails, pushing my hair and so on.
For me this issue as to do with a lack of inner peace, for whatever personal
reason each person might have in their history.
Hope to get some more feedback on the subject.
With love from Portugal
Bernardo
2008/11/25 Margreet Mossel <margreetmossel@xxxxxxxx>
Hi Karen and all other collegues
I could give you some thoughts about thumbsucking from a slightly different
perspective.
First of all, it might mean something different for each person.
If you want to know what it feels like for you, just do it yourself and see
what feelings or associations come to your mind when sucking.
From the osteopathy we know that the skull is a combination or
constellation
of many different little bones that constantly move slightly in the places
where they are connected. There is both flexion-extention and
inward-outward
rotation between these bones. Any restriction in these small movements
feels
highly unconfortable and the body will seek a way to get it moving properly
again. One of the things to set the movement on a wider range is sucking
(or
chewing or other movements.) It helps to balance the motility in all
directions. If you look at it from this perspective you could ask yourself:
what blocks the movement in this particular person? This may be a direct
trauma on the skull, including the teeth. Like birth trauma, falling on the
head, having a concussion, dental trouble, things like that. Also scar
tissue can prevent the normal rhythm of movement. Scar tissue like from an
earinfection, tonsils removed, etc. Or even scar tissue elsewhere in the
body from an organ or a bone or connective tissue. That scar will pull on
the dural and spinal cord and can be felt in the skull as a restriction in
the movements.
Then from another point of vieuw I noticed that thumbsucking induces a kind
of trance. It brings you away from the here and now into a dreamworld, a
higher level of consiousness, another point from where you watch the world.
Like when you are climbing a mountain and you see your town differently
then
you percieve it from the valley. So there must be a good reason to suck
longer than others.
Acupuncturists probably look at it from another angle, it might stimulate
certain (organ)energies that you need at that moment.
I say this all not to confuse you but to shine some light on it from
different angles. I am sure that when you ask the systemic questions an
find
out about the history if this man, you will know where to start or what the
next step is. As long as you dont judge this thumbsucking (or being not
available) as something that should stop or end or that is not good. Always
allow the person to do whatever he needs to do. Even if you don't
understand
it - yet.
I have the feeling that we limit the systemic work if we try to find a
connection between a symptom and original problem before we did the work.
That is (from my perspective) why Bert suggests we do the work with an open
mind and heart, and just observe what comes up so that the solution can
find
us. And the insights we get as a reward - afterwards.
I have worked in many fields of healthcare and did much other work, and it
is in the systemic work - world that I find there is place for everything.
All the aspects of my former carreers are welcome, nothing is excluded. I
am
allowed to have all my consiousnesses(?) from all other fields that both
limit me and help me grow. In other fields I often meet the restrictions of
the groupconsiousness, and then soon folowed by the exclusion when I want
to
move one step further.
This work does not exclude but only asks from me that I open my heart a bit
more so that everything can have a place in it. (These were Berts words as
an answer to a question that I once asked him! -what a precious gift he
gave
me - us!) Therefore I have the feeling that a bridge can be built in me
between many different fields. At the moment there is a very strong new
impulse in my life that has to do with a different way of looking at cancer
and other diseases. It is very exiting to watch these new insights looking
for a place where it is safe and where it can connect with other insights
that I already have received. And how they connect with the systemic
insights.
Hope this is somehow helpful as an answer to your question
Love to all
Margreet Mossel
The Netherlands
www.opstellingen.com <http://www.opstellingen.com/>
(sorry, I can't wake up my spellingchecker to do its job!!)
_____
Van: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>]
Namens kmassey2290
Verzonden: maandag 24 november 2008 20:43
Aan: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
Onderwerp: [ConstellationTalk] Thumbsucking
I just checked your excellent search by topic list Chris and could find
nothing about thumbsucking, nor in Hellinger's books that I own. I am a
counselling psychologist and constellation facilitator who is in need
of ideas about thumbsucking from 2 perspectives. First, in addition to
comfort, what other benefits would a boy receive by sucking his thumb,
including at school, until Grade 7, age 12. Despite some ridicule,
isolation, Tabasco on the thumb from his mom-- he continued to suck
until his family moved to a new city. His father is a busy medical
doctor who was seldom home, mom is a stay at home mom--both seen as
good parents. He then decided early in Grade 7 to stop sucking.
Secondly, how does thumbsucking perhaps contribute now in his early
30s, to a 5 year failed marriage due his lack of being emotionally
available. Any ideas would be appreciated. Thanks. Dr. Karen Massey,
Alberta, Canada
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