Dear Danuta Jirik
Thank you.
I am touched by your awareness.
hugs
Anutosh
----- Original Message -----
From: Danuta Jirik
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 8:12 AM
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] parent or teacher
Hi Everyone,
I was in the Pichl intensive and became aware of the 'controversy' while
there (that's how new I am to the constellation community), therefore I speak
from the bottom, so to speak, acknowledging there are many more things that I
don't know about.
Still, I'm moved to address the talk about individuation and offer my
thoughts:
Bert Hellinger does not have any actual children. Therefore, if he is treated
like a parent by anyone, it would be that person's responsibility to become
clear on who his/her actual parent is, and shift their focus accordingly. It
would not be appropriate to hold Bert responsible for not behaving like a
parent.
And even if he was a father of someone, would that child have the right to
tell him what's OK to do and what's not OK, and what direction he should take?
And do we as students have the right to tell our teachers what they should or
should not do in their life and which direction they should take? Aren't we
responsible for our own journey?
I'd like to offer a bit of what Mr. Hellinger said in Pichl, it's from the
notes I took, so it may not be perfectly accurate, but still it may help
someone see something.
Imagine how we often try to help people, and in a way we allow them to use us
as a substitute for their mother, so they come to us with expectations they had
towards their mother - to be consoled, to tell us about their worries, and we
should be there like their mother, supply what they need, and sometimes we feel
great because we are needed by them - and there's a great danger that we'll
lose sight of their mother.
Importand learning - we don't look at the individual client, we always look
at the same time at their mother and father, with respect. We can do that if we
have reconciled with our own mother and father, with gratitude and love, then
we cannot be seduced to take the role, but we remain adults, on equal basis
with the client, as adults.
For me, he as my present teacher leads, and I respectfully follow, for as
long as I feel the truth in what he's doing, and I am responsible for how far I
go along, and if I don't feel that truth anymore, I will respectfully withdraw
and continue on my journey.
In my experience in Pichl, the truth in what he's doing was so palpable, the
experience of the Spirit-Mind's movements was so life-changing and
consciousness raising that I'm very clear that I'm in, following his lead,
curious to see his next step, because he's clearly connected to something that
is evolving in truth and I can evolve by walking along. For as long as it feels
right.
Respectfully,
Danuta Jirik
www.healerspirit.com
Gary, can you send me your review of Hellinger and Sophie's work? I can't
find it and wanted to make it available to my training group. I am aware of the
controversy regarding Bert's new process. There is so much to it. It is a rich
subject psychologically for all of us. It is one thing for the child to
individuate from the parent. Quite a different matter when the parent
individuates from the child...or the teacher from the student. Yikes!
Oh what fun it all is,
Barbara
-------------- Original message --------------
From: "CHIARA MEGIGHIAN ZENATI" <cmegighianzenati@xxxxxxxxx>
If you are interested, here are the websites
for the intensive www.constellations-intensive.de
for the wurzburg conference
www.congress08.iam-Youare.org<http://www.congress08.iam-youare.org/>
ISCA (Institute of Systemic Constellation) (not ready yet)
All the best
Chiara Hayganush
On 5/11/08, Dan Booth Cohen <danbcohen@xxxxxxx> wrote:
>
> Any CT members who attended the Bernried training intensive or the
> International Congress in Cologne, please give us your report on how they
> went. Thanks.
>
> Dan
>
> _._,___
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
--
Dr. Chiara H. Megighian-Zenati
104 Hawthorne Rd
Pittsburgh, PA 15238
cmegighianzenati@xxxxxxxxx
www.ayainstitute.com
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