Dear Annimukkala
Thank you for sharing so deeply. I am deeply touched and it has inspired and
reminded me again of what it means to be innocence. Nothing can really touch
that space.
Dear lotus flower, many times thank you. Yes.
love and hugs
Anutosh
----- Original Message -----
From: annimukkala
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Friday, January 23, 2009 12:50 PM
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] trauma as spiritual enlightenment
regarding the experience of near death i am going to use all of my
human courage here and now to share some of my own experience with
this movement toward oneness. when i was 16 months old, my mother
sent for a walk in the woods with a man perhaps then in his fifies
who was my father's cousin. i remember the beautiful route through
the cow pasture and into the gathering of poplar trees fresh with new
greenness and smelling of early summer. when this man pushed me down
and began to lower his trousers and show his hairy and ugly body, i
tired to pull away and escape this situation.
of course, as a baby i no physical power. i don't know what the
stimulus was for certain, perhaps as he filled my breathing passage
with his genital i was pushed into a near death state or perhaps it
was simply the raw trauma, but i moved myself into a position high
above the tender tree tops and looked down at this man traumatizing
and brutally assaulting the very young child.
my feeling from that perspective was certainly not one of bliss or
joy or great peace. neither was it a place of agony or pain or fear
or anger. it was however, a place of great observation that has
allowed me during my life to embrace both that man and that baby
girl. in that place i was no longer a part of the world of emotion
or physical sensation. i was merely an observer and was able to take
it all in without great emotion. perhaps this is the place we can
succeed as facilitators. and perhaps bliss is not the place of
oneness but only of possibilities.........
with a great regard for all that is, i remain loving in this life,
and in small acts of kindness i hope i encourage assimilation of all
this is.
to all with love, anni mukkala stinn
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