Hi all, Gary, I really like the post you put up on forgiveness. It
elucidates my own perspective and so thanks for the input.
A state of 'good conscience' is too often mistaken for forgiveness. We often
feel a euphoric state of 'good conscience' when we elevate ourselves above
something. The subjective nature of the feeling is not an indication of either
growth or resolution.
I do not utilize the term forgiveness in constellations because of the inherent
biases of conscience that can easily lead to a false resolution when the client
my begin to 'feel good' but for reasons that only yield from loyalty not
growth.
To say "I am sorry," however, in the appropriate dynamic can lead to movement.
But, again, one needs to find what will lead to movement. For example, I
observed a woman and her father. The father had sexually assaulted her. The
constellation ended with the father on his knees. Later, although I was not
the facilitator, I realized that the father had in fact taken a child position
to absolve himself of the responsibility of his actions and it was NOT as it
had appeared on first observation to be a position of remorse. One must be
very careful in allowing the constellation to continue to resolve once it is
over. The dynamic in the situation I have given here, it one where further
movement was stifled. A further movement of the father into an adult standing
position may have encouraged movement to continue more easily. That being
said, the movement of the father, I know did occur for the client at some much
later date so in all things, there is always the hope that these things will
move as is the nature of everything.
Best to all, Anni from Edmonton
