Dear Vinay,
I agree with Louis supporting - do what you sense in the moment. This is such a
poweful safety mechanism.
I also respect biology. I respect the historical fields of men and women, I
respect the gender differences: the truth that with human beings- only women
give birth out of their body, and the truth, that up until this point, that
cannot happen without the sperm of a male. And being part of this chain of life
is not every human beings destiny. Nature has beings which are distinctly male
& female and that there are exceptions to that. I know that there can be a
fallow deer- a female deer that cannot give birth and sometimes even grows a
full set of antlers. (I heard about this from an elder once, although I have
not seen it myself). Some animals (particularly some reptiles) demonstrate
male and female characteristics and this seems to be happening more frequently
as our pesticides mimic hormones.
That being said, if there is a man who can stand as a representative for a man,
I ask that a man stand in that field. There is a constellation which I do, as
do others, where women sit, in representation of the line of women who have
given birth, each giving birth to the next woman to come. In this
constellation I would not have a man sit as a woman who has given birth, but
there is a place for men where they physically stand behind the line of women
and with their strength give support to the heaviness of the long line of women
who have carried life. I have also had it happen, when,( as I had seen
Hellinger do), when someone chose cross-gender representation, and I asked why,
the client openly brought to the field that the representative was standing for
one who was gay
and that particular destiny had in fact, had systemic impact.
I know there are many who have a sense that there should be no distinctions
between male and female, but particularly when we are working
transgenerationally gender often mattered- was a part of destiny. As a
practical issue, for me it becomes very challenging to identify a female
standing as a man- as a man. To accommodate my own challenge with integrating
that visual discordance, I use what Daan von Kampenhout introduced- have women
standing as men wear caps or hats. It is another lovely place where the field
integrates everything
a dress hat that a participant wore for fun, ends up
perched on the head of a representative for a banker
a beret ends up on the
head of someone who suffered during the French revolution
those things can
happen and be helpful in the unraveling of the constellation.
In training, I sometimes utilize the technique that Judy discussed. If there
is needed discussion of the constellation for training purpose, the person who
just had their work done is invited to go and take a cup of tea.
In using Traditional Circle Technology, the protection and space for each
person's integration of their own work is encouraged. One teacher advised
when one felt compelled to comment to reflect- how much was coming from ego?
'This idiot will not possibly be able to understand this constellation without
me and my input!' Or, how much of my sense of urgency to summarize-or
elaborate- vocalize- comes from my own fear of the silence that would invite me
to `hear' something that has come to me for the first time, through this
constellation? Silence is difficult for the modern western mind. In my way
of working it is essential. And, it does mean that occasionally there are
people I know would be better served by another facilitator because not
everyone feels supported in quiet.
How beautiful that you are taking the work into the world.
All My Relations,
Francesca
