Hello all,
Just a quick response to Stefan's question about neices, nephews etc. Here are my thoughts: If I died young or had an accident or committed suicide before a neice of mine was born, these events would have affected her mother, my sister, for instance, and therefore, my neice may take on an issue from her mother, and in that way, I (her aunt) am a part of her system. As a general rule, though, since my neices and nephews are GENERALLY younger than me, they do not affect my fate, and are therefore not a part of my system.
As for cousins, I have found that there are times when information regarding the cousins as a whole sheds light on a person's situation. For ex., I have 4 cousins on my mother's side of the family (I also have an older brother and sister). Only 2 of my cousins ever married and one of them committed suicide as a 40 year old husband and father. Another cousin is mentally retarded. Neither me nor my siblings (both older) have married (= 6 of 7 cousins unmarried). As a whole picture, this poses some interesting questions about my mother's side of the family (for which there is sadly little information, by the way) and may point a direction to move in for me or a sib or a cousin who may come with an issue related to partnership to a workshop. In other words, the fates of my cousins may shed light on my own situation, but in general, these fates do not influence my own, and therefore they are not a part of my system.
Always an interesting dialogue here!! Dates of 2007 US Conference on Systemic Constellations are Oct. 10-14, 2007 in Asheville, NC. Questions, including requests to be put on the mailing list for ongoing information, may be sent to me DIRECTLY at email below.
All the best, sheila
Sheila Saunders, RN, MFT Systemic Family Solutions sheila@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx www.systemicfamilysolutions.com PO Box 2467 Fairview, NC. 28730 828-273-5015 Hello and Happy Thanksgiving to all on Constellation Talk. I have a question