As the son of a ts person (my father), I have pondered this a great deal. None
of the constellations I have done regarding my father have revealed anything
specific about the origins of his 'gender dysphoria', but then, that wasn't
what I was trying to explore in them.
Whatever mandatory 'counselling' is required for people considering a gender
transition tends to be quite shallow, with no systemic orientation at all. And
the whole transition process is conducted by the medical profession as if its
just one person going through the transition, where of course its actually a
whole family, a circle of friends, and often a workplace where that person
resides. This lack of a systemic sensitivity or interest is very damaging for
the whole system, and everyone involved, and usually results in the
fragmentation of relationships.
That aside, its true that our constellation work is very much grounded in the
biological facts. And in this case, my father is and always will be my father.
It was his maleness that I came out of.
So the first constellation I did on the subject of his transition was
culminated by a beautiful line which Pytor and Otteline gave me: 'You are my
father, and you will always be my father, and I bow before your fate'. I still
remember that line on a regular basis. Its kind of like honouring order and
weight, while giving precedence to new systems.
And the social context for transsexuals is very difficult - they basically have
to choose a binary because thats how our world operates. But in fact, they are
not really someone of the opposite gender, no matter how much they may identify
with that. They are, in my opinion, a transsexual, something which involves a
unique holding of the two polarities. Without space to do that, and perhaps
even find some kind of integration, the only option seems to be a split: 'I was
a man, now I am a woman'. Thats certainly the path my father chose, and now
considers his male self to be another person, separate from her current
identity. She literally cut that part of herself off.
As a son, of course, I want him/her to hold both truths. But its too much, and
its up to me to hold both those truths. I am in contact with many children of
ts' and they all have similar struggles.
If you are interested, you can read an article I wrote more than a decade ago
for the Australian:
http://www.australianhumanitiesreview.org/archive/Issue-August-1997/gunther.html
I get a letter every few weeks from a child of a ts who has read it, and
reaches out for support - theres not many resources out there.
Well, this is a fascinating topic, and I am interested to see where else the
discussion might lead
Vinay
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