Thanks Dan, I think you started this thread.
I seem to be doing more and more private sessions. Recently I had some
thoughts of stopping doing workshops, but since I have just done some,
I feel back in that groove again.
Some thoughts about the different modalities, private andworkshops,
and our roles.
Some of my reasons for thinking briefly about stopping workshops were
the difficulty or energy in arranging then. Private sessions just seem
to happen and I don't have to recruit others or organise venues etc. I
find private sessions extremely powerful, and they have a more relaxed
nature, time to talk, time to wait and go into the depth of the
representation, no need to hurry to fit in others, or attend to the
energy of the group.
I think many peopole come to Constellations because of some isolation
or lack of connectedness, so yes, a workshop is a useful place to heal
and get a sense of belonging. But many people are not ready for that,
so a private session can be an important step.
I have come up agsainst some ethical issues in private sessions,
especially around touch, where one of the safeguards of workshops is
the openness of touch.
But I do think about what maybe doesn't happen in the private session
that happens in the workshop. The loss of learning and experience of
others cases. I think that much of the healing in Constellations comes
from the 'witnessing' of the healing movement by the others. And other
particpants can help so much, by things like showing you information
in their bodies or actions that can help someone's Constellation, an
example of this would be the readiness of the holding circle to do
someone's case.
Recently I have been thinking about what I attract in workshops and
what can support me. I learnt allot of this my doing others cases,
where people have projected their family onto their situation. I was
an excluded son, and I seem to carry the energy of an excluded
ancestor, and I have a need for intimacy, an intimacy that I cannot
remember growing up. And sometimes I attract small workshops, in fact
sometimes with the same number as my family. Just realising that has
been so useful to me.
I do allot of work in Constellations about position and role,
especially with business clients. I find it useful to ask people to
say what their role or position is and see how it feels. This could be
'I am a daughter' or it could be 'I am a facilitator, boss, healer'. I
find this is a very useful excercise to help people understand how the
abilty to take up there/role or position can effect their lives, or
who they might attract or not. It oftens leads to a Constellation.
The position or role we take can be so important, of course. I have
found it somewhat unsettling to see Bert Hellinger with the large
groups he works with. I have had to demonstrate work to quite large
groups and found its not the same as a faclitating a workshop with 6,
15 or 35 people. In business workshops I work quite a bit exploring
the importance of structure and making the space to support work, and
that mirrors my role in making the space for the workshop, which we
talk about. Recently I have started to do an exercise, on the second
or third day, where I surpise the participants at the start of the day
with the room set up like a schoolroom, and we do some school events
like show and tell, and maybe even a song. We then explore the
connection, the communication and other differences to the usual
Constellation work space. Its a lot of fun and really good learning.
But I learnt something really useful the other day. As I went from
schoolteacher to constellation facilitator in a few minutes it was not
easy. My connection with the constellation space took a while to get
into the 'groove' again. And we talked about this in the workshop. And
then I thought of Bert. In his demonstrations he is effected by the
role he takes and position, and the field conditions. Its not the same
as facilitation. He is taking on a different role.
I met a 'mystic' as he calls himself, in Australia. Something he said
I found very useful. He talked about the 3 types of masters or gurus.
One lives in a cave and rarely sees people. One has a big audience.
And the other, is the Master in the Marketplace. He has a small
audience, in fact you would not know he was a master, he just blends
in and does good work, with a few people, and he is not constrained,
as the other 2 can be.
All the best....David Mathes, Sydney and Guangzhou.
