Re: Re: The Ghost in Your Genes
- From: TomBuoyed@xxxxxxx
- To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 19 Nov 2005 11:36:43 EST
So, Tom that is why you are such a WIZ(ard) your intelligence bowls me
over. Sincerest admiration.
GARY STUART LA, CA
_____________________
Dear Cousin Gary,
Thank you so much for your kind words. But if my intelligence bowls you
over, then I must be doing some bowling --- which indicates that I may be
reducing the humanity of my readers to the status of bowling pins.
Now that I've had 15 months of intense Hellinger work here in La-La Land,
I'm just beginning to get a sense of the intricate psychic fortress I had
woven
with my mind and built so assiduously on and around the border regions of my
personality. From those parapets, I could giddily launch such mental bowling
balls as you experienced, Gary --- all in the spirit of: "the best
[psychological] defense [mechanism] is a good [pre-emptive] offense.
I'm still amazed to see unfold in my constellations with different
facilitators, the common theme of all this intense intellectual perpetrator
energy
stemming from my refusal to take my father as he is --- coupled with being
engulfed by my mother --- making me the Ultimate Mamma's Boy!
In my early bucolic Asperger heyday, it would never have occurred to me
that my intellectual development could not only be used my weapon of choice
against everyone else, but also be the actual mechanism of my dissociative
escape
from feeling the pain of pre-birth, birth and early childhood trauma.
Gary, I love your business card that says: SHIFT HAPPENS!
But it's so amazing, awkward, unnerving and ecstatic to feel the shift
happen because it really signifies a grounding in the physical body. Now I see
my
obsessive thinking channeled into compulsive writing as an outside observer
and I've gotten a new insight about comparing NPD (Narcissistic Personality
Disorder) to Asperger's/autism.
Narcissism as self-ABSORPTION implies that there is a separate bounded self
that can then be self-absorbed. But my sense is that in autistic children and
adults, the situation is way beyond self-absorption and reaches what I term
self-ENGULFMENT, specifically engulfment by mother. When that happens there
is no separate bounded self to be absorbed by. If there are any boundaries,
they would belong to the mother, and those boundaries seem to filter out the
father.
Well, enough of my obsessive theorizing about such "Greatest Hits of the
DSM-IV"
Here's a sonnet I wrote in late 1987 shortly before the death of my parents
both at age 80 in the next year. I place it here as a way of honoring them
both, and in the spirit of sparking a discussion about how autism, Asperger's,
autistic savants, etc., appear in constellation work.
Thomas
______________________________
AN AUTISTIC CHILD OF THE CITY
My mother and my father saw me through
the trials of my sacred childhood.
I grew up wondering if they ever knew
why I had chosen them to be so good.
They set the table of the universe
for me with linen woven by the sun;
and when I ate their food, I would immerse
my soul in waters of oblivion.
The placid void of my existence was
disturbed one day, by news of sudden hope.
I heard the world resound above the buzz.
I watched it through my mind's new telescope.
They knew I had attained enlightenment
inside a New York City tenement.
___________________________________
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