If I understand your question well, you are asking what we as
facilitators think of a facilitator using or ‘utilizing’ the shaming of a
client as an approach to serve the healing of the client. I’m interpreting
your question this way from your sentence "There are examples where
facilitators use confrontative encounters in a constellation context.”
I’m trying to clarify because a) there is more than one way to
understand your question [for example, you might be asking about shame being
addressed, or shame being brought in as a representative; I once represented
“the shame of the southern United States” in a constellation that involved
racism and slavery in a family from a southern state] and b) to consider using
confrontation or shaming in a constellation makes no sense to me.
If I am understanding your question, then I think using shame in a
constellation has no place in this healing method and diminishes the value and
credibility of the practice. It points to the facilitator making personal
decisions rather than being guided by the field.
One of the core principles I was taught in training is non-judgment
about a family member’s words, behaviors and decisions; how else could I
support everyone having a place in the family? For a facilitator to confront
or shame a client would reveal a judgment and power differential held within
the facilitator which I have a hard time believing would serve the healing of
the client.
peace,
Chuck Cogliandro
Decatur, GA U.S.
