Dear Anita,
I don't always do this in workshops, but due to some situations that
have arisen, I developed this exercise which I use sometimes, actually
quite often. I talk about three ways of participants helping people
who have completed their cases. Giving advice (like 'you should leave
your husband'), Offering sympathy (like, 'oh how awful to grow up in a
family like that!' You poor thing'), or giving support, which I don't
define.
I then invite people to break into groups of three and identify 3
chairs as receiving advice, receiving sympathy and receiving support.
I ask the participants to try out each chair and then share the
experiences back in the circle. It seems to be a useful exercise in
helping people support each other during the workshop. It also often
touches on issues of respect for each other and of size, what makes us
big, little or equal.
i usually do this exercise after the first Constellation, maybe when
people come back from a break. With some groups I am quite explicit.
i ask then not to give any advice during the workshop. And that
includes ringing each other at night. I explain that the person who
has completed their constellation has had their constellation of their
family re-arranged somehow inside their body and to let that settle
and that giving advice interrupts the effect of the Constellation.
David Mathes
On 13/02/2008, at 9:19 PM, ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx wrote:
a.
Re: code of ethics
Posted by: "Anita Roy" anitaroy@xxxxxxxxx anitaroy1234
Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:25 pm (PST)
Further to your comment below David, in a workshop I attended as a
representative, I noticed another participant at break time (right after the
constellation) approach the client, really dig into the constellation, give
advice, and carry on to tell the client her own story as it resembled the
client's story in some aspects... needless to say, the client was
overwhelmed, confused, and did not have the wherewithall or boundaries to
say "stop it, please" or "later".
As a representative, I did not feel it proper to tell the other
representative what to do, but the facilitator felt that it was *not*
necessary to intervene when I mentioned it. So I deferred to that judgment,
but it did not feel right at all.
So the question of ethics affects also the representatives. What are their
duties?
On the one hand, we are in systemic constellation during a session, and also
when the constellation is finished. We are a system for that day, and our
inability or unwillingness to intervene in what "feels" all wrong is not
healthy, the way I see it.
Anita