Thanks Ellen,
So beautiful.
I have had a similar journey to peace as you, and then I was able to
turn to other things in my life.
I feel in these words you write speak for many of us and for
constellation work.
David, Sydney and Guangzhou
Posted by: "Ellen Pillard" epillard@xxxxxxxxxx
Thu Sep 10, 2009 9:27 am (PDT)
As I mentioned in an earlier posting to this list at 21 years of age I
left home and move across across the country. A major factor in this
move was the deterioration of my relationship with my mother. As a
child I would describe that relationship as one of mutual
indifference, but after my father's death when I was 19 my mother
became controlling and very angry at me and so I left home. In my
recent development of a meditation practice I came to realize that I
could not find peace with myself because I was not at peace with my
mother. In Feb of this year I did a constellation on my relationship
with my mother at a workshop lead by Jane Petersen. It became very
clear in that constellation that the interupted reaching out movement
was broken between my mother and her mother. And therefore, my mother
had really no resources to be a mother to me. The next day I felt,
for a brief moment, the first feeling of compassion for my mother.
In the following months as I recall more of her life story and more of
her strong qualities I have come to feel deep compassion for her.
Today 50 years after I fled from my mother and struck out on my own I
am now sitting in my family summer home in Vermont 5 miles from the
cemetery where my father, mother and brother are buried. And I am at
peace.
I have shared this story with this list because it touches on the
discussion of children striking out on their own and the importance of
understanding family systems. Both of which have value in being and
growing and healing.
Ellen Pillard
Charlotte VT USA
epillard@xxxxxxxxxx
