10 dos and don'ts for sharing baby news online
Chrissie Russell
1
DO have a conversation in advance so everyone knows your expectations.
It's better to have your boundaries already set out rather than trying
to address them in the emotional aftermath of the delivery room. "Bring
up the conversation before it happens," advises Aoife Lee, Parent Coach
for parentsupport.ie. "Just 'I'm giving you a heads-up, we'd prefer it
if you left this off social media'."
2 DO revisit those boundaries. If you've been sharing photos or
information in WhatsApp groups then some might interpret this as a green
light to share themselves. "Say 'I've shared here but I'm not interested
in sharing images of my kids widely so would you mind keeping it within
our own group," urges psychologist and author Dr Malie Coyne.
wait to address an issue.
3 DON'T
If someone has posted something you're not comfortable with, deal with
it while something constructive can be done to resolve it.
4 DO think twice about who you share personal information with. "If you
feel your relative is going to share that news far and wide, it might be
best not to share it with them in that moment," suggests Malie.
5 DON'T assume that everyone will know how you feel.
go in all guns blazing.
6 DON'T
It's understandable to have an emotional response but the person sharing
the information probably isn't doing it in a malicious way. "I think
when it comes to family, the majority share because they care about the
child, they're proud of them, and sometimes they just don't think about
how that parent or carer might feel about it," explains Aoife.
7 DO practise what you need to say. Again, few things are as likely to
generate an emotional response as when you feel your child has been
wronged, but it's best to keep calm. "It's when it comes to
communicating the issue, that's when everything can go quite amicably or
can kick off," warns Aoife. "It's just about being sensitive. Practise
your few lines and share what you want to communicate with that other
person about what's important to you. After that there's nothing you can
do or influence if they get defensive."
8 DO draw comparisons with traditional media – some people still have
trouble grasping the privacy issues around online. "I would hate to find
out in years to come that my aunt had been going round handing out Kodak
photos of me to strangers," says mum Deirdre. "How is this any different?"
9 DO take the lead from the parents. If you're a relative or friend
considering sharing something online (and haven't had an overt
conversation with the parents on the matter) take your lead from them –
if they're not posting, you shouldn't be either.
10Do think about where the child's rights are in all of this. And this
goes for parents posting too. "I think we need to start thinking about
this a lot more because, when they go looking for a job in 10 or 20
years time, do they really want that image up online?" says Malie.
"Because that image will remain online."
Irish Independent
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