Here's how parents can model healthy phone habits for their kids
If you want your children to develop good phone habits, you need to
start with your own – and that could mean a digital detox,
Dr David Coleman
Safer Internet Day was last week.
Some of the statistics that were announced about children's smartphone
ownership were concerning. I heard on the radio that a quarter of all
six-year-olds have a smartphone. One in every four. Why? What possible
benefit can there be for a six-year-old to own a phone.
I wonder if parents who buy phones for their children at this age, don't
think about the harm that could come to their child, or the habits that
their child will build from such an early age. All you need do is talk
to the parent of any teenager, who is struggling to help their son or
daughter put away their phone, for meals, or homework, or bedtime, and
you might think twice about starting a child's relationship with a
smartphone at age six.
However, this kind of parental attitude to children's phone ownership
(in Senior Infants!) probably mirrors a similar lack of attention or
mindfulness towards their own phone use. As we know, the primary source
of role-modelling for how children are likely to behave, comes from
their parents. Which is why every parent, not just the ones buying
phones for six-yearolds, probably needs to take a long, reflective, look
at how we use our phones, so that we stand some hope of showing our
children some wiser habits.
Most parents probably need a digital detox. Between emails, WhatsApps,
texts and our own social media scrolling, the average adult, globally,
is on screens for about seven hours a day, with social media taking up
nearly two and half of those hours.
You might scoff, thinking your personal usage comes nowhere near that.
And indeed, if you want to reset your relationship with your phone and
the internet, your first step is to do an audit. Most phones record our
usage. Most of us probably just skip past that notification when it
comes in. Rarely do we look through the data that is available. However,
when we do look at it, it can be instructive, indicating the apps that
soak up most of whatever time we are spending on our phones.
Even more helpful is to do the personal equivalent of a "time-in-motion"
study. Keep a copy or notebook to hand for a day and note what you are
doing every 15 minutes. That will give you a powerful record of where
you are spending your time. Even more helpfully, recording how any time
spent on your phone left you feeling, might also highlight how often it
feels good and, more likely, how often it feels bad. And if you are
using your phone a lot and not feeling great about it, you can change.
You can decide to set specific limits for yourself, like 20 minutes on
certain apps, or only allowing yourself to use the phone for
entertainment at very specific times of the day. Outside of these times
make it harder to access your phone. Put it in a different room. Close
it away in a drawer. Switch off notifications. Mute WhatsApp group
conversations. Disconnect biometrics as a way of opening your phone.
Disconnect your smartwatch from your phone so messages don't pop up on
your wrist.
Within various social media apps, you might want to go on an
un-following spree so that whatever time you do spend on those apps are
genuinely engaging because you are interacting with people whose content
you are interested in. Beware the mindless scrolling on Tik-
Tok or Instagram reels. Those algorithms are primed to keep you sucked
in and will make it hard to stop.
There are several tools you can add to your phone that will make it
harder to access apps including some that buffer, meaning you have to
wait 30 seconds before the app opens, or that launch a clock alongside
the app you are opening, so your time spent is very visible. All these
kinds of things might interrupt you and make you more aware of the time
spent on an app.
You might also want to make phone-free zones in your house, for you and
everybody else. Consider banning phones in bedrooms, bathrooms, and the
kitchen. That way your phone is more likely to live in the sitting room,
prompting you to remember that when you go to use it you are most likely
doing so for entertainment.
For the determined among you, you might also want to set one day a week
(or even two) as an entirely phone-free day. Taking a full break, every
week, reminds you of all the other things in life that you can get done,
when you aren't spending the time on your phone. It might also, however,
remind you just how powerful a draw phones are. Because if you are
finding it hard to be without your phone for 24 hours, spare a thought
for the challenge they will represent for your child.
Your children will struggle to regulate their phone use, it is almost
inevitable. But you can give them the best chance of learning good
habits when you model those habits yourself.
'Set specific limits for yourself, like 20 minutes on certain apps, or
only allowing yourself to use the phone for entertainment at specific
times of the day'
Between emails, WhatsApps, texts and social media scrolling, the average
adult is on screens for about seven hours a day. Back to Contents
Irish Independent
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