WOXOF,
Axe and I are holding up well while holed up, and we did need a little bit
of humor to perk us up. Thanks for the reminder on the importance of
maintaining our course handicaps. I believe this story as related by you is
accurate, as I heard our president repeating this story (albeit without
quite this much detail) to SECDEF during one of our outings at Mar-A-Lago
(aka The Crown Jewel of Palm Beach) a few months ago. I recall that the
president was playing to a four and the SECDEF to 22. I was feeling very
much at home, so decided to play to a zero. SECDEF was several strokes up,
until the 18th hole where he ran into some trouble somewhat like you report
below, and our leader squeaked out the win. Of course, we must also
consider that after our layoff while restricted to quarters, we are likely
to become a bit rusty and might want to add a couple of strokes to our index
for the next couple of rounds after this very unfortunate pandemic wanes.
Warm Regards,
Rules
+1 (619) 944-2786
Chopkins294@xxxxxxxxx
From: Robert Clark <rclark@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Sunday, March 22, 2020 1:06 PM
To: 'chopkins294@xxxxxxxxx' <chopkins294@xxxxxxxxx>
Subject: FW: GOLF HANDICAP
Hi Charlie, Hope all is well. The below might be something to share with our
SOGAGGERS on the importance of maintaining and reporting an accurate
handicap. Bobby
A businessman was attending a conference in Africa.
He had a free day and wanted to play a round of golf and was directed to a
golf course in the nearby jungle.
After a short journey, he arrived at the course and asked the pro if he
could get on.
"Sure," said the pro, "What's your handicap?"
Not wanting to admit that he had an 18 handicap, he decided to cut it a
bit.
"Well, it's 16," said the businessman, "but what's the relevance since I'll
be playing alone?"
"It's very important for us to know," said the pro, who then called a
caddy.
"Go out with this gentleman," said the pro, "his handicap is 16."
The businessman was very surprised at this constant reference to his
handicap.
The caddy picked up the businessman's bag and a large rifle.
Again, the businessman was surprised, but decided to ask no questions
They arrived on the 1st hole, a par-4.
"It's wise to avoid those trees on the left," said the caddy.
Needless to say, the businessman duck-hooked his ball into the trees.
He found his ball and was about to punch it out when he heard the loud
crack of the rifle,
and a large snake fell dead from a tree above his head.
The caddy stood next to him with the rifle smoking in his hand.
"That's the Black Mamba, the most poisonous snake in all Africa
You're lucky I was here with you."
After taking a bogey, they moved to the 2nd hole, a par-5.
"Good to avoid those bushes on the right," says the caddy.
Of course, the businessman's ball went straight into the bushes.
As he went to pick up his ball, he heard the loud crack of the caddy's rifle
once again,
and a huge lion fell dead at his feet.
"I've saved your life again," said the caddy.
The 3rd hole was a par-3 with a lake in front of the green.
The businessman's ball came up just short of the green and rolled back to
the edge of the water.
To take a shot, he had to stand with one foot in the lake.
As he was about to swing, a large crocodile emerged from the water and bit
off much of his right leg.
As he fell to the ground bleeding and in great pain, he saw the caddy with
the rifle propped at his side, looking on unconcernedly.
"Why didn't you kill it?" asked the man incredulously.
"I'm sorry, sir," said the caddy.
"This is the 17th handicap hole.
You don't get a shot here."
And that, my golfing friends, is why you should never lie about your
handicap!
