Thanks for raising this issue. I remember an early experience I had in
constellation work that had a big impact on me regarding the tension between
what could be called our moral codes and what heals the family system.
I represented a small boy in a constellation facilitated by Bert. The issue
brought by the client (a therapist, the constellation was for supervision
purposes) was that the boy seemed to be always angry with his mother. Bert
set up the constellation with the mother and her two sons. As the
representative of one of the boys I had feelings of anger and hate for my
mother. The rep for the mother was holding her stomach. Bert announced that
this indicated an abortion. Bert brought in a rep for the aborted child and
laid him or her on the floor. My memory is that Bert then invited the rep
for the mother to say to the rep for the aborted child "I killed you". The
Mother's rep reported that the statement felt true.
Almost immediately as the rep for the boy my anger towards my mother turned
to a deep love, that I can still remember.
Bert ended the constellation there.
With love to all the Mothers, Fathers and Children.
David Mathes, Melbourne, Australia.
