Dear Robert and All,
This reminds me of the dramatic Constellation in Washington, DC where Bert
Hellinger punched a client who refused to bow to his father. The Constellation
had progressed to the point where the client, the rep for the father, and
Hellinger were standing at the front of the stage. Hellinger directed the
client to bow. The client did not move. After repeating the instructions,
Hellinger had the rep sit down and stood representing the father. He repeated
the instruction once more. When the client still balked, Hellinger's fist shot
out and stuck the client violently in the chest. I do not clearly recall what
happened, except for my fear that the two were about to brawl on the stage. No
further punches were thrown and the Constellation ended soon after.
Personally, it was an important moment in my evolution as a facilitator, and
perhaps partially explains why I rarely instruct clients to bow at the end of a
Constellation.
Hellinger is the father of Family Constellations. Like many fathers, his public
outbursts have sometimes shamed or embarrassed his children. Some emulate and
strive to be like him. Others recoil and strive to disassociate from him.
Between those who bow and lavish him with praise and those who criticize and
move away, there is a tension that feels like sibling conflict.
Dan
--- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Robert Grant <erebees@...> wrote:
Dear Michael and Friends,
Michael your contribution to the discussion reminded me of some less
than helpful experiences with bowing. Notwithstanding the tremendous
healing potential of the bowing act unfortunately in Europe at least
it is still not uncommon to run into authoritarian facilitators who
may from time to time force the bow. As a general principle gentle
suggestion / invitation and not clinging to outcomes seems to me a
very important principle in the facilitation process, especially with
powerful acts like bowing.
Kind regards to all,
Robert
