Dear Michael and Friends,
Michael your contribution to the discussion reminded me of some less
than helpful experiences with bowing. Notwithstanding the tremendous
healing potential of the bowing act unfortunately in Europe at least
it is still not uncommon to run into authoritarian facilitators who
may from time to time force the bow. As a general principle gentle
suggestion / invitation and not clinging to outcomes seems to me a
very important principle in the facilitation process, especially with
powerful acts like bowing.
Kind regards to all,
Robert
On Sun, Aug 21, 2011 at 12:46 AM, Michael Reddy <michael@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hello Everyone,
Thanks for all the enrichment of our perspective on bowing. It's
really valuable.
I guess I feel moved to just put in a small footnote here. Let's
please not forget that an external word, or gesture is never
equivalent to any particular thought or set of feelings. Words and
gestures remain ambiguous. To say that a bow CAN mean these and those
things is correct, and to say that, for ourselves and our clients, we
WANT it to mean certain things is really valuable. It is even true
that a full-body gesture like the bow TENDS to move someone towards
certain states of feeling that are sort of intrinsic to the posture.
But still the external expression is not equivalent to what is going
on inside.
For example, I have seen forced bows that were so reluctant and rigid
that, obviously, something else was going on. I'm not talking here
about my own experience of constellations, so much as experiences
earlier in martial arts (Kodokan Judo). I remember one match during
my beginner white belt days in which my opponent's required bow at the
beginning was so obviously filled with animosity and even rage, that
my bow was filled with fear. Respect was never able to emerge. A more
seasoned competitor would have bowed very differently--knowing that
the man's rage would make it very easy to throw him. That more
seasoned bow might contain delight in certain victory (irony in the
gesture), at a certain stage. or at a later stage, genuine compassion
and the "namaste" feeling. "I'll throw you. May you learn and grow
from it."
This is part of a general tendency we have, supported by pervasive
underlying metaphors in many languages, to act and speak as if the
word or gesture were a package that delivered another person's
internal thought or feeling. It's not. Words have no "insides." We
don't put thoughts or feelings "into" words. Still our languages
won't let us talk easily any other way. You may notice I said above
that my bow "was filled with fear." So there it is in plain sight. I
have to use the expressions, even though I'm aware of the problem. If
this is of interest, see the academic work I did on this several
decades ago (Wikepedia, "Conduit Metaphor").
Thanks to all for this list.
Michael
Michael Reddy, PhD, CPC, ELI-MP
michael@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
www.reddyworks.com
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On Aug 19, 2011, at 3:39 PM, Stephan Knierim wrote:
Hi everyone,
As I have also learned, bowing/honoring involves you showing your most
vulnerable spot in your body to the other - your neck.
So, as you bow, you become humble and vulnerable and all judgement and
feelings of arrogance start to heal.
Best regards,
Stephan Knierim
stephankrx@xxxxxxxxx
CENTRO DE CONSTELACIONES FAMILIARES SOWELU
Family Constellator
Sistemic Organizational Configurator
México D.F.
MEXICO
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