Dear Don,
below is the info I send to workshop participants before a workshop. I am
sure it could be improved upon. Some of the ideas expressed in it will be
controversial. I think it would be a good exercise to use it as a
springboard for discussion. I am sure others have different practices that
are equally valid and worth hearing about.
Pre-Constellation Workshop Information
Introduction
Often we seem to have accurate insights into the causes of the problems that
exist in their lives and with our families, while still remaining completely
stuck. In a constellation we receive new insights and healing images in a
non-verbal way. We absorb them directly through the senses. We see new
images of our family. We even feel how these new dynamics feel in our
bodies. This goes much deeper than ideas put into words. These experiences
can affect our relationship with our family in a way that seems effortless.
It has a profound impact that can give our lives new direction. Thoughts are
quick. This kind of nourishing process moves slowly but surely through
ourselves and our family system.
Basic Expectations & Post Workshop Support
This is a self exploration workshop. It is not a substitute for medical
treatment or psychotherapy. Most people benefit greatly and experience no
significant difficulties as a result of these workshops. However, if you
have any trouble dealing with anything that arises out of the workshop, you
can deal with it with your own therapist or contact Dr Chris Walsh at 03
9347 4300 or at info@xxxxxxxxx
Preparing for a Constellation Workshop
* Try to be well rested, with a clear mind and body.
* Manage your expectations (e.g. You don't have to do you own
constellation)
* You don't have to do your own constellation. You will get a lot out
of being a representative and sitting in the holding circle.
In fact when you are doing a workshop with a particular practitioner for the
first time, it is often good to spend a significant amount of time observing
that practitioners style so that you are sure that you feel comfortable
enough with them for them to facilitate your own constellation. For some
people this may take one or two workshops before reaching this stage.
If you do your own constellation, be prepared to hold it quietly within
yourself afterwards. It is usually better not to discuss it with others
afterward.
Being A Representative
In a constellation people are asked to stand in the position of family
members of the client. This is a powerful learning experience. However
participants have the right to refuse a role if they so wish.
* Being a representative does not involve acting in any way. It is not
playing a role but rather standing in a particular person's position.
* As a representative you simply report the sensations feelings &
impulses that spontaneously arise in you. It is a good idea to start with
physical sensations.
* There is no right or wrong, just simply report your own experience.
* Resist the urge to invent happy endings. It is the facilitator's job
to work toward a resolution. The process is much more effective if
representatives maintain their integrity. In any case constellations are
helpful more because of the movement they create rather than because of
reaching good resolutions.
Preparing For your Own Constellation
Any question or concern that you bring to a constellation should be a
serious matter for you. A constellation based on a trivial matter has very
little energy and is unlikely to be helpful.
Clarify your issue in terms of yourself.
For example if you were to say "I want myself, my brothers and sisters to be
more relaxed with each other". Then it might be better to change the
question to "I want to behave is such a way as it helps me and my brothers
and sisters to be more relaxed with each other". When you phrase an issue in
this way, it means that you are taking more ownership of the situation. This
usually leads to the constellation being more beneficial.
It is useful to know the basic facts about your family i.e. who had special
fates such as dying young or having difficult chronic illnesses and to think
about who belongs to your family system
Those included in the family system are:
1. Children 2. Brothers and Sisters 3. Parents and their Siblings
4. Grandparents 5. Sometimes one of the great-grandparents
and at times, ancestors even further back.
Remember those who have died early, including stillborn children. Others who
may not have been fully acknowledged include those adopted into or out of a
family, biological relatives of adopted children and disgraced family
members.
6. Everybody - and this is most important - who made room to the advantage
of the above members. This includes, in particular, former partners of
parents or grandparents, as well as all those whose misfortune or death
brought the family an advantage or gain.
7. Victims of violence and murder by any members of the family.
8. Sometimes people who have saved the life of a family member.
This information can be useful if you decide to do a constellation. But
don't get frantic trying to find it all out. Often only part of this
information is needed to do a constellation. So remember the first point:
Try to be well rested, with a clear mind and body.
After Doing Your Own Constellation
Don't worry if your constellation has not reached a full resolution.
Constellations are helpful more because of the movement they create rather
than because of reaching good resolutions. This can create momentum for
healing in real life.
Sometimes verbal processing can keep us stuck at the level of the problem,
stopping us from embracing the solution. We can use analysis to distance
ourselves from our direct sensory experience. Imagine enjoying a beautiful
sunset. Then imagine analysing the scientific phenomena that produce such an
optical event. While that may be quite useful to do in some ways, it removes
us from the direct experience of the sunset. The thinking distracts us from
our experience of the colours and shapes. Any experience that is not
included in the intellectual discussion disappears from consciousness. For
example, in this case, we may forget all about our emotional response to the
sunset.
Similarly it is better not to try to analyse our own constellation. Rather
it is better to replay it in our mind and especially to remember the healing
movements and images, and the feelings that go with them. We can satisfy our
intellectual mind by thinking about other peoples' constellations. With our
own, it is better to encourage the experience to go as deep as possible.
Immediately after the constellation, spend some quiet time by yourself to
allow this process to begin while the experience is still fresh.
A skilled practitioner may make suggestions that amplify or focus our
healing image. This might include focusing on one particular element of the
constellation such as feeling our parents physically supporting us from
behind. It may also include acts to help us reincorporate a forgotten family
member, such as displaying their photo in our home, visiting their grave or
doing some other ritual of acknowledgement.
Other than these acts of awareness, we don't need to do anything specific
with the constellation for it to have its effect. This work helps us to
become more deeply connected with all the members of our family system,
living and dead. The healing effects of the work unfold in their own time
when we let go of the need to do something. We hold all those who belong to
our family in conscious love. We respect their fates and their burdens as
their own. We can then give up the childlike loyalties where love and
belonging meant living out the consequences of another's life which have
only served to entangle us. Unnecessary suffering is therefore replaced with
acknowledging what actually is.
When we go home from the workshop we should be careful about telling others
our experience. It is extremely difficult to explain constellations to those
who have not experienced them. It is normal for many people to be skeptical
about something that is so far outside of their normal experience and that
is so challenging to our normal way of perceiving the world. Even if they
are sympathetic, many people will try to engage you in an analytical
conversation which can disconnect you from the healing image of the
constellation. So it is better to wait for a while before trying to talk.
Finally whatever occurs in a constellation usually should not be used as a
recipe for your behaviour around the people represented in the
constellation. Rather than that, we simply let it work within us and we may
find ourselves spontaneously acting in different ways, than have been our
usual past patterns. We may find ourselves getting in contact with
previously distanced family members. We may find ourselves being more
assertive or more conciliatory than before. Whatever the change in
behaviour, it is likely that we will observe a greater sense of relaxation
and connection. We may even feel more alive.
Confidentiality
It is expected that all participants in these workshops maintain the
confidentiality of other participants. However we cannot guarantee that
other participants will appropriately maintain confidentiality. Fortunately
deep self disclosure is usually not necessary in these workshops. If you are
not sure about the relevance a particularly sensitive piece of information,
you can consider mentioning it privately the facilitator before the workshop
or during a break in the workshop. This will not risk your confidentiality.
Hasta la vista
Chris Walsh
Melbourne, Australia
Website www.constellationflow.com
-----Original Message-----
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of dpomail@xxxxxxx
Sent: Thursday, September 15, 2005 1:12 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Beginning Facilitator
Dear Constellation Talkers,
Thank you all for your insights and experiences that I have been enjoying
for the past several weeks. I am a new group member, and I would like to
introduce myself.
My name is Don Opatrny. I am a licensed psychotherapist with an active
private practice in Connecticut (USA). I have been engaged in
Constellations work for more than three years: studying, representing, and
working with many wonderful facilitators. I have been training in an
ongoing group with Professor Ed Lynch for more than two years, and I
attended the conference in Cologne Germany this year. I will be continuing
in Ed's training group this year and will attend the Portland Conference in
a couple weeks. I have facilitated several constellations under supervision
in our training group and have been using the phenomenological approach and
figure constellations successfully in my private practice. I look forward
to sharing and learning from this unique community.
I am hoping that group members who are actively facilitating will be willing
to share insights about their efforts to form a group and how they got
going. I would appreciate any guidance on effective marketing techniques,
and any form of "welcome package" that anyone has developed to send to
newcomers to help them prepare.
I look forward to your replies.
Warmly,
Don Opatrny - Connecticut, USA
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