Lutz wrote from the land down under:
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Hi Thomas,
this is a response to your posting from 3.9.05!
You write in your posting about "Uncle Bert". I assume that you refer to
Bert Hellinger. I remember that in previous postings you used the wording
"Uncle
Bert."
I have a strong reaction to that. I really don't like it!!!
No matter what your view is about Bert Hellinger - it does not make him
"Uncle Bert" unless you want to degrade him in one way or the other (I can't
imagine that this is your intent).
I wonder if your cynicism is part of the suffering you are writing about. I
like the depth of your writing!
On another note: I would prefer if you would be willing to identify yourself
by your full name.
Lutz Pamberger, Western Australia
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Gruess Gott-Bert, Lutz!
Thank you so much for responding to my message. I will address your concerns
about my attitude toward Bert in a following message. For this one, I would
like to answer your request to have me identify myself by my full name.
My full name is Thomas Edward Andrew Mellett. The initials spell out TEAM,
which was my nickname in college back in the late 1960s.
(I had another nickname then as well, "Underfoot," which was a recognition
of my uncanny ability to show up suddenly --- and synchronistically --- in
varied social gatherings at either the most appropriate or most inappropriate
of
times, especially when I wasn't invited! I still have that ability today but
with more "impulse control," in the subsequent decades during which I have
[allegedly] reached a certain minimal level of adult emotional maturity.)
Now up until a very profound constellation I experienced a month ago, I
would always introduce myself as "Tom Mellett." But since that constellation,
I
am shifting my first name from "Tom" to "Thomas" because the word "Thomas"
comes directly from the Aramaic language, and it means "twin."
The constellation brought me to become conscious of, to acknowledge, mourn
and honor my "lost twin," a being, my ultimate sibling, split off from me, but
then lost in the very early stages of our mother's pregnancy, very likely
occurring --- from the somatics (gestures and body movements) I expressed
during the constellation --- during our traversal of the Fallopian tube, to
hook
on to Mamma's uterine wall, or die. I implanted. She did not. But our
entanglement after that loss was very intense and with the resolution came
powerful
and so far lasting shifts and insights concerning gender identification,
anger at women, literal existential guilt and my former omnipresent sense of
dissociation, a feeling that, during stressful times, I was "possessed" by
someone else.
(If anyone would like, I am willing to go into more detail as it expresses a
phenomenon I have only witnessed once before in a workshop with Gabrielle
Borkan in Los Angeles last October, when a client arranged representatives for
himself and for his intrauterine lost twin.)
3 References for "lost twin" phenomenon:
Terry Larimore: _http://www.terrylarimore.com/CellularPaper.pdf_ ;
(http://www.terrylarimore.com/CellularPaper.pdf)
Lloyd deMause: _http://www.psychohistory.com/htm/eln04_trauma.html_ ;
(http://www.psychohistory.com/htm/eln04_trauma.html)
John Speyrer: _http://primal-page.com/twiner.htm_ ;
(http://primal-page.com/twiner.htm)
And so, Lutz, I apologize for giving such an encyclopaedic answer to your
simple question about my name, but you happened to ask at a time when I am
just
beginning to use my formal birth name Thomas as a way of honoring my lost
twin. (Not to mention the fact that I am a Social Nine on the Enneagram, so
I'm prone to recount the history of the world when you ask me any simple
question.)
In case you've forgotten by this point, my name is Thomas Mellett.
Now to answer your other concern about my cynicism and possible degradation
of Uncle Bert. I promise not to digress! Well, at least not "around the
world;" maybe just "around the corner." How's that for impulse control?
Thomas
