Dear All,
Goodness me what a list of assumptions Dan! I agree with Michael that you
make some sweeping generalisations about the English speaking population
across the world, based on what kind of enquiry?
I've been running workshops since 1997 and generally had no problem in
drawing people. However, my workshops have never been more frequent than
every 2 or 3 months. That's the kind of gap that works in this country I
think. Yes I've cancelled a few but not many and mostly I work with
whatever size of group comes my way. Several years ago now I offered to
visit if people got a group together for me. This works fantastically but
it does mean I have to travel a fair bit. I think the skill of gathering
folk is a very different skill from facilitating and if you can find
someone to do that bit for you it helps enormously. This is helped by the
fact that I also offer an apprenticeship scheme so the apprentice who is
keen to learn puts energy into getting a group together.
As for the use of the 'orders', yes sometimes they are still appropriate.
Sometimes not.
I just don't believe in throwing out the baby with the bath water. If you
really attune to a client, you can know whether such an approach would suit
them at this time in their lives or not.
I agree with Deborah that safety is a key factor. Here in England we're a
pretty reserved lot if I can allow myself to stereotype for a moment but I
haven't found in a workshop that generally people hold back from baring
their soul. Once one person does it, it kind of gives permission for others
to follow suit. If someone has got themselves as far as a workshop they're
pretty much ready to speak out. Otherwise, they would opt for individual
work. And, yes deep bonds can be formed in a very short time due to the
nature of the work.
Talking about the work is tricky I agree. I used to temper what I said
according to my audience. This was mainly my own feelings of
self-protection. I didn't want something so precious to me to be mocked or
dismissed. Now I don't have those worries at all. People take on board what
I'm saying or they don't. It's up to them entirely. I think this is an
exact mirror of how integrated the work has become for me.
BW
Barbara
On 31 December 2012 02:41, Deborah Gavrin Frangquist <
choices@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
**
Dear Michael, Dan, Leslie, Bill, Ed, and Anngwyn:
Again, how wonderful to be a group of people able to challenge each
other with a fair degree of comfort and clarity. That's evidence to me
that we share some values and capacities which are greatly needed in our
respective worlds (national, professional, educational worlds).
Every few years I re-read Thomas Kuhn's wonderful book, /The Structure
of Scientific Revolutions. /It's the book that introduced the very term
"paradigm shift" back in 1962. He was talking about "hard science,"
specifically chemistry, electricity, astronomy - although I think the
very term "hard science" may now be part of an old paradigm.
The point I wish to stress is that Kuhn argued that each new paradigm
comes to the fore when the previous paradigm ceases to provide
satisfactory answers to the questions it once seemed to answer. In the
meanwhile, people have conducted what Kuhn calls "normal science," which
elaborates on the paradigm, fills in gaps, provides details about its
workings. And eventually normal science starts running into
unanswerable questions, even undefinable questions within the existing
paradigm.
At that point the old original questions are re-examined, usually by a
younger generation of inquirers who are not thoroughly indoctrinated in
the prevailing paradigm and therefore can see the flaws in its
explanations. They start looking for new explanations, theories which
are both simpler/more elegant and more effective in predicting and
explaining what is actually observed.
I believe constellation work is at this stage, and part of our
difficulty in explaining or describing the work is that we sometimes, so
to speak, try to use Ptolemy's language to describe Copernicus'
observations. No wonder we get tongue-tied when we try that, no wonder
some people look at us as if we are talking nonsense! Within the old
paradigms of psychology, philosophy, sociology, politics, morality, we
cannot make sense. Leslie is quite right in highlighting the capacity
of constellations to reframe expectations and theories. That's exactly
what new paradigms do.
I have lived through several paradigm shifts in the "hard sciences" -
tectonic plates were a crackpot idea when I was young, everyone knew
that brain plasticity ended in childhood, and instant communication
among people around the globe was science fiction. (I'm 65 - which
doesn't seem old to me.) Constellation work is a new paradigm within our
societies, it's far better at answering some of the oldest and deepest
questions of human life than what we had in the mid-20th century, and we
are still in the early stages of the new paradigm's development. And
thank whatever powers that be that we can communicate so quickly with
each other, instead of having to wait weeks and months - as Benjamin
Franklin and his fellow "electricians" had to do in the 18th century -
to compare notes about what we are learning.
Deborah
*Deborah Gavrin Frangquist
Career & Life Design for Professionals, Artists & Executives
**415-346-6121; mobile 415-642-0225*
www.ChosenFutures.com <http://www.chosenfutures.com/>
On 12/30/2012 6:46 AM, Michael Reddy wrote:
Dear Dan,here, I don't think your letter presents a balanced perspective. There are
While there are some important partial truths in the positions you take
other sides to the story which are not given enough weight in your summary.
While I too find group workshops the hardest part of my practice to keep
going, they are also one of the more rewarding and uplifting parts. How
objective is it to generalize so strongly from your personal experience to
"all English speaking countries," and all facilitators in them?
to be content with a few points.
I too could write a treatise in friendly response to you, but will have
e.g.
. Very few people want to reveal their hidden family secrets in front
of a group of strangers.
. Very few people want to spend a day standing in the field of other
people's miseries, especially to represent the worst elements of it,
are already not "a group of strangers." That bond grows deeper during thestand as someone's murderous grandfather in one Constellation, then asBy the time we do the first constellation, the people in my workshops
another person's brain tumor.
time together. That opening to one another is profound and one of the
aspects of the group work that I know touches people in a strong, positive
way. They are not alone in their difficulties--they can give and receive
powerful help to one another. This is a life-changing experience for many
North Americans in its own right. I try to get my private clients often
into workshops because of the lift it brings to what they work on alone.
healing circles that allows me to get the group quickly into this kind of
Yes it is 20 years of experience focalizing Native American style
safety and openness. But this not something that cannot be taught. And I
know I'm not the only one who has figured out ways to do this. This social
bonding around family healing is way too needed and way to important to
simply abandon as impossible in English.
very
. The answers to the question "What is a Family Constellation?"
derived from Love's Hidden Symmetry are incomprehensible to all but a
& FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS) which deals directly with all three of thesefew.I seem to remember spending two years writing a book (HEALTH, HAPPINESS,
. The Orders of Love are counter-intuitive and nonsensical.
. The terminology translated from German tramples the English
language.
points. Family constellations are explained in depth from a perspective
very different from LOVE'S HIDDEN SYMMETRY. Part of the value of
constellation work is that it can be connected to other ways of viewing the
world in addition to Bert's. I dealt explicity with a major translation
problem coming from German to English. And I restated the entire "orders of
love" thing without ever using the word "conscience" in terms of a central
trade-off in families between the need to include and the need to retain
harmony.
endorsements of the book seem to have gone on record saying these different
You yourself in the Foreword you wrote, and Ed Lynch and others in
perspectives are valuable. Why not give these ideas a chance to open the
minds and hearts of native English speakers? Instead, you conclude
nothing about it. Beginning at the 2011 SF conference, I organized and ran
explanations either make no sense or chase people away.I'm sorry, but there seems to be a disconnect here.
Trainings have lowAs to this aspect, not all of us are sitting on our hands and doing
participation because few people can afford to pay for a "professional"
training that does not hold potential for creating future income.
a free "constellation practice building" Mastermind Group during 2012.
There were 40 or so North American facilitators who became involved in
this, many very well known. From this experience, I have isolated some of
the main factors holding back business growth among North American
facilitators, and am teaching teleclasses now that impart this knowledge
and use constellations to help facilitators get their practices growing. I
see now that someone out West is starting to a similar "how to."
far more nuanced. I'm not yet training people to do group work, but am
. The classic Family Constellation is extremely difficult toI can't go into this aspect here, but I think this statement needs to be
facilitate with mastery or even high competence.
teaching "Home Altar Constellations" now regularly. I see the problems in
teaching people to do constellations, but I don't yet want to attribute
such a high degree of difficulty to the process. Discussing this would take
us back to recent thread on "Entry Gates."
geographic areas into your summary. Is the situation in England really the
Finally, I would also want to question the way you lump different
same as in the US and Canada? Are Boulder Colorado and the Bay Area in
California the same as Boston (where you are) and Philadelphis (where I am)?
for
Sincerely,
Michael
On Dec 29, 2012, at 2:13 PM, Dan Booth Cohen, PhD wrote:
Dear Meera -
It has been 10 years since I completed my Constellation facilitation
training. The paradox between how powerful Constellations are as tool
about 5change and how few people choose to experience them has been a constant
throughout. At the beginning, like many new facilitators, I rented a
workspace and promoted workshops in my community. I pursued this for
beneficial,years. While the Constellations were consistently powerful and
forthe workshops did not grow in size or popularity. A once-a-month circle
stopped5 people does not a professional practice make. Starting in 2008, I
areorganizing group workshops. This is when my practice began to grow.
As 2012 closes, I can say with confidence that a primary reason there
look atinsufficient people to participate in Constellations in English speaking
countries is that the form and format of Family Constellations are
unpalatable to 95-99% of the general population. I could write a long
treatise about all the ways and all the reasons that Constellations have
failed to grow from the original plantings seeded by Germans. When I
e.g.it, nearly every component and element is problematic.
Here is a short and incomplete list:
. The classic Family Constellation is extremely difficult to
facilitate with mastery or even high competence.
. Very few people want to reveal their hidden family secrets in front
of a group of strangers.
. Very few people want to spend a day standing in the field of other
people's miseries, especially to represent the worst elements of it,
verystand as someone's murderous grandfather in one Constellation, then as
another person's brain tumor.
. The answers to the question "What is a Family Constellation?"
derived from Love's Hidden Symmetry are incomprehensible to all but a
thesefew.
. The Orders of Love are counter-intuitive and nonsensical.
. The terminology translated from German tramples the English
language.
I could go on at length. Trust me, I have spent 10 years confronting
theobstacles and more. To summarize: the format is extremely difficult for
lowfacilitator. Hardly anyone wants to participate in a group workshop. The
explanations either make no sense or chase people away. Trainings have
takeparticipation because few people can afford to pay for a "professional"
training that does not hold potential for creating future income.
The other side of this paradox is that having freed myself from these
constraints, I am doing many more Constellations and they continue to
appreciation ofme into more potent realms of healing and understanding. My
more IConstellations has never been greater.
Dan
Dan Booth Cohen, PhD
<http://www.usconstellations.com/> www.USConstellations.com
<http://www.hiddensolution.com/> www.HiddenSolution.com
781-718-7158
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Meera Finnigan
Sent: Friday, December 28, 2012 7:07 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Re: Criticizing the United States
Dear Dan and all,
..
The more I experience it and read of Systemic Constellation work, the
Australia, Iam convinced that it is a powerful tool for change. In Western
so fewcan see though, that it is a challenge to keep offering the work when
seem totake it up.
I have been trying to undergo training in Perth but so far there are
insufficient people to participate. Belief in the work and endurance
be the way some practitioners manage to keep going.
Best wishes for 2013 to all.
Meera
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Michael Reddy, PhD, CPC, ELI-MP
michael@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
610 469 7588
www.reddyworks.com
Holistic Health & Happiness
DIAL IN TO OUR FREE, WEEKLY, QUESTION & ANSWER
TELECONFERENCE--THE CONSTELLATION CALL
Q&A on Family Constellations and Coaching
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(530) 216 4363 PIN 481775#
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