Dear Barbara and All -
It is true that I am overexcited by this topic and worded my messages too
strongly and stridently. The responses, both public and private, convince me
that my tone was jarring and the message was taken by some as depressing and
others as grandiose. However, I stand by the core of what I am attempting to
convey.
"Based on what kind of enquiry?" As the co-organizer of the US Conference
and North American Intensive and a trainer who travels extensively
nationally and internationally, I have a decent feel for the state of
Constellations in English speaking countries. I would be pleased to be
mistaken as this would ally my concerns. In New York City in 2013, it will
take months for the headcount of people who set up their group
Constellations for the first time to fill 1 subway car. This in a city of 8
million where Bert Hellinger personally organized two training courses 10
years ago and other trainers have offered trainings and learning groups. I
am not saying this to be discouraging or depressing. My intention is to
stimulate inquiry into how to make the process more accepted and accessible.
"My workshops have never been more frequent than every 2 or 3 months."
Whenever I do a telephone Constellation for someone experiencing dark,
debilitating depression or mania or chronic intestinal pain or panic
attacks, or chronic loneliness or for siblings in conflict or a woman
collapsing under the weight of caring for her cruel, dying mother, I become
aware of how many others are bearing the same burdens unaware that profound,
lasting relief is available in one or two Constellation sessions. My
schedule is just about full to capacity. This is not about the size of my
own practice. It is about the large number of facilitators whose talents are
underutilized and the much larger number of regular folks who suffer under
the illusions of our dominant medical and psychological treatment models.
"I just don't believe in throwing out the baby with the bath water." I am
not disputing the Orders of Love or Hellinger's other basic principles. I am
recommending that people find more appealing language for their homepages,
flyers and introductions." "Children seldom or never dare to live a happier
or more fulfilling life than their parents." I am not saying that Berthold
Ulsamer is incorrect; I am suggesting to take this ubiquitous quotation off
the top of your homepage. It is a turn-off. Change the bathwater. Keep the
baby and change the bathwater.
Dan
Dan Booth Cohen, PhD
2013 US Systemic Constellations Conference, October 10-13, Seattle, WA
6th North American Systemic Constellations Intensive, July 31 - August 4,
2013, Famington, CT
www.HiddenSolution.com
781-718-7158
-----Original Message-----
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Barbara Morgan
Sent: Monday, January 07, 2013 4:06 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Challenges of new paradigms
Dear All,
Goodness me what a list of assumptions Dan! I agree with Michael that you
make some sweeping generalisations about the English speaking population
across the world, based on what kind of enquiry?
I've been running workshops since 1997 and generally had no problem in
drawing people. However, my workshops have never been more frequent than
every 2 or 3 months. That's the kind of gap that works in this country I
think. Yes I've cancelled a few but not many and mostly I work with whatever
size of group comes my way. Several years ago now I offered to visit if
people got a group together for me. This works fantastically but it does
mean I have to travel a fair bit. I think the skill of gathering folk is a
very different skill from facilitating and if you can find someone to do
that bit for you it helps enormously. This is helped by the fact that I also
offer an apprenticeship scheme so the apprentice who is keen to learn puts
energy into getting a group together.
As for the use of the 'orders', yes sometimes they are still appropriate.
Sometimes not.
I just don't believe in throwing out the baby with the bath water. If you
really attune to a client, you can know whether such an approach would suit
them at this time in their lives or not.
I agree with Deborah that safety is a key factor. Here in England we're a
pretty reserved lot if I can allow myself to stereotype for a moment but I
haven't found in a workshop that generally people hold back from baring
their soul. Once one person does it, it kind of gives permission for others
to follow suit. If someone has got themselves as far as a workshop they're
pretty much ready to speak out. Otherwise, they would opt for individual
work. And, yes deep bonds can be formed in a very short time due to the
nature of the work.
Talking about the work is tricky I agree. I used to temper what I said
according to my audience. This was mainly my own feelings of
self-protection. I didn't want something so precious to me to be mocked or
dismissed. Now I don't have those worries at all. People take on board what
I'm saying or they don't. It's up to them entirely. I think this is an exact
mirror of how integrated the work has become for me.
BW
Barbara
On 31 December 2012 02:41, Deborah Gavrin Frangquist <
choices@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
**summary.
Dear Michael, Dan, Leslie, Bill, Ed, and Anngwyn:
Again, how wonderful to be a group of people able to challenge each
other with a fair degree of comfort and clarity. That's evidence to me
that we share some values and capacities which are greatly needed in
our respective worlds (national, professional, educational worlds).
Every few years I re-read Thomas Kuhn's wonderful book, /The Structure
of Scientific Revolutions. /It's the book that introduced the very
term "paradigm shift" back in 1962. He was talking about "hard science,"
specifically chemistry, electricity, astronomy - although I think the
very term "hard science" may now be part of an old paradigm.
The point I wish to stress is that Kuhn argued that each new paradigm
comes to the fore when the previous paradigm ceases to provide
satisfactory answers to the questions it once seemed to answer. In the
meanwhile, people have conducted what Kuhn calls "normal science,"
which elaborates on the paradigm, fills in gaps, provides details
about its workings. And eventually normal science starts running into
unanswerable questions, even undefinable questions within the existing
paradigm.
At that point the old original questions are re-examined, usually by a
younger generation of inquirers who are not thoroughly indoctrinated
in the prevailing paradigm and therefore can see the flaws in its
explanations. They start looking for new explanations, theories which
are both simpler/more elegant and more effective in predicting and
explaining what is actually observed.
I believe constellation work is at this stage, and part of our
difficulty in explaining or describing the work is that we sometimes,
so to speak, try to use Ptolemy's language to describe Copernicus'
observations. No wonder we get tongue-tied when we try that, no wonder
some people look at us as if we are talking nonsense! Within the old
paradigms of psychology, philosophy, sociology, politics, morality, we
cannot make sense. Leslie is quite right in highlighting the capacity
of constellations to reframe expectations and theories. That's exactly
what new paradigms do.
I have lived through several paradigm shifts in the "hard sciences" -
tectonic plates were a crackpot idea when I was young, everyone knew
that brain plasticity ended in childhood, and instant communication
among people around the globe was science fiction. (I'm 65 - which
doesn't seem old to me.) Constellation work is a new paradigm within
our societies, it's far better at answering some of the oldest and
deepest questions of human life than what we had in the mid-20th
century, and we are still in the early stages of the new paradigm's
development. And thank whatever powers that be that we can communicate
so quickly with each other, instead of having to wait weeks and months
- as Benjamin Franklin and his fellow "electricians" had to do in the
18th century - to compare notes about what we are learning.
Deborah
*Deborah Gavrin Frangquist
Career & Life Design for Professionals, Artists & Executives
**415-346-6121; mobile 415-642-0225* www.ChosenFutures.com
<http://www.chosenfutures.com/>
On 12/30/2012 6:46 AM, Michael Reddy wrote:
Dear Dan,here, I don't think your letter presents a balanced perspective. There
While there are some important partial truths in the positions you
take
are other sides to the story which are not given enough weight in your
While I too find group workshops the hardest part of my practice tofacilitators in them?
keep going, they are also one of the more rewarding and uplifting
parts. How objective is it to generalize so strongly from your
personal experience to "all English speaking countries," and all
they work on alone.to be content with a few points.
I too could write a treatise in friendly response to you, but will
have
e.g.
. Very few people want to reveal their hidden family secrets in
front of a group of strangers.
. Very few people want to spend a day standing in the field of
other people's miseries, especially to represent the worst elements
of it,
are already not "a group of strangers." That bond grows deeper duringstand as someone's murderous grandfather in one Constellation, thenBy the time we do the first constellation, the people in my
as another person's brain tumor.
workshops
the time together. That opening to one another is profound and one of
the aspects of the group work that I know touches people in a strong,
positive way. They are not alone in their difficulties--they can give
and receive powerful help to one another. This is a life-changing
experience for many North Americans in its own right. I try to get my
private clients often into workshops because of the lift it brings to what
similar "how to."healing circles that allows me to get the group quickly into this kind
Yes it is 20 years of experience focalizing Native American style
of safety and openness. But this not something that cannot be taught.
And I know I'm not the only one who has figured out ways to do this.
This social bonding around family healing is way too needed and way to
important to simply abandon as impossible in English.
very
. The answers to the question "What is a Family Constellation?"
derived from Love's Hidden Symmetry are incomprehensible to all but
a
& FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS) which deals directly with all three of thesefew.I seem to remember spending two years writing a book (HEALTH,
. The Orders of Love are counter-intuitive and nonsensical.
. The terminology translated from German tramples the English
language.
HAPPINESS,
points. Family constellations are explained in depth from a
perspective very different from LOVE'S HIDDEN SYMMETRY. Part of the
value of constellation work is that it can be connected to other ways
of viewing the world in addition to Bert's. I dealt explicity with a
major translation problem coming from German to English. And I
restated the entire "orders of love" thing without ever using the word
"conscience" in terms of a central trade-off in families between the
need to include and the need to retain harmony.
endorsements of the book seem to have gone on record saying these
You yourself in the Foreword you wrote, and Ed Lynch and others in
different perspectives are valuable. Why not give these ideas a chance
to open the minds and hearts of native English speakers? Instead, you
conclude
nothing about it. Beginning at the 2011 SF conference, I organized and
explanations either make no sense or chase people away.I'm sorry, but there seems to be a disconnect here.
Trainings have lowAs to this aspect, not all of us are sitting on our hands and doing
participation because few people can afford to pay for a "professional"
training that does not hold potential for creating future income.
ran a free "constellation practice building" Mastermind Group during 2012.
There were 40 or so North American facilitators who became involved in
this, many very well known. From this experience, I have isolated some
of the main factors holding back business growth among North American
facilitators, and am teaching teleclasses now that impart this
knowledge and use constellations to help facilitators get their
practices growing. I see now that someone out West is starting to a
(where I am)?far more nuanced. I'm not yet training people to do group work, but am
. The classic Family Constellation is extremely difficult toI can't go into this aspect here, but I think this statement needs
facilitate with mastery or even high competence.
to be
teaching "Home Altar Constellations" now regularly. I see the problems
in teaching people to do constellations, but I don't yet want to
attribute such a high degree of difficulty to the process. Discussing
this would take us back to recent thread on "Entry Gates."
geographic areas into your summary. Is the situation in England really
Finally, I would also want to question the way you lump different
the same as in the US and Canada? Are Boulder Colorado and the Bay
Area in California the same as Boston (where you are) and Philadelphis
for
Sincerely,
Michael
On Dec 29, 2012, at 2:13 PM, Dan Booth Cohen, PhD wrote:
Dear Meera -
It has been 10 years since I completed my Constellation
facilitation training. The paradox between how powerful
Constellations are as tool
about 5change and how few people choose to experience them has been a
constant throughout. At the beginning, like many new facilitators,
I rented a workspace and promoted workshops in my community. I
pursued this for
beneficial,years. While the Constellations were consistently powerful and
forthe workshops did not grow in size or popularity. A once-a-month
circle
stopped5 people does not a professional practice make. Starting in 2008, I
areorganizing group workshops. This is when my practice began to grow.
As 2012 closes, I can say with confidence that a primary reason
there
look atinsufficient people to participate in Constellations in English
speaking countries is that the form and format of Family
Constellations are unpalatable to 95-99% of the general population.
I could write a long treatise about all the ways and all the
reasons that Constellations have failed to grow from the original
plantings seeded by Germans. When I
e.g.it, nearly every component and element is problematic.
Here is a short and incomplete list:
. The classic Family Constellation is extremely difficult to
facilitate with mastery or even high competence.
. Very few people want to reveal their hidden family secrets in
front of a group of strangers.
. Very few people want to spend a day standing in the field of
other people's miseries, especially to represent the worst elements
of it,
verystand as someone's murderous grandfather in one Constellation, then
as another person's brain tumor.
. The answers to the question "What is a Family Constellation?"
derived from Love's Hidden Symmetry are incomprehensible to all but
a
thesefew.
. The Orders of Love are counter-intuitive and nonsensical.
. The terminology translated from German tramples the English
language.
I could go on at length. Trust me, I have spent 10 years
confronting
theobstacles and more. To summarize: the format is extremely difficult
for
lowfacilitator. Hardly anyone wants to participate in a group
workshop. The explanations either make no sense or chase people
away. Trainings have
takeparticipation because few people can afford to pay for a "professional"
training that does not hold potential for creating future income.
The other side of this paradox is that having freed myself from
these constraints, I am doing many more Constellations and they
continue to
appreciation ofme into more potent realms of healing and understanding. My
more IConstellations has never been greater.
Dan
Dan Booth Cohen, PhD
<http://www.usconstellations.com/> www.USConstellations.com
<http://www.hiddensolution.com/> www.HiddenSolution.com
781-718-7158
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Meera ;
Finnigan
Sent: Friday, December 28, 2012 7:07 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Re: Criticizing the United States
Dear Dan and all,
..
The more I experience it and read of Systemic Constellation work,
the
Australia, Iam convinced that it is a powerful tool for change. In Western
so fewcan see though, that it is a challenge to keep offering the work
when
seem totake it up.
I have been trying to undergo training in Perth but so far there
are insufficient people to participate. Belief in the work and
endurance
be the way some practitioners manage to keep going.
Best wishes for 2013 to all.
Meera
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Michael Reddy, PhD, CPC, ELI-MP
michael@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
610 469 7588
www.reddyworks.com
Holistic Health & Happiness
DIAL IN TO OUR FREE, WEEKLY, QUESTION & ANSWER TELECONFERENCE--THE
CONSTELLATION CALL Q&A on Family Constellations and Coaching
Tuesdays 8-8:45 PM EST
(530) 216 4363 PIN 481775#
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