Diane et al,
I don't think I sent this out, but here is a description of the "dinner
table" exercise I use at the start of a workshop where there are people who
have never been a representative before: (I didn't invent this, it is not
new - I think I got it from Dietrich Klinghart):
The dinner table exercise is this: Ask if anyone in the group remembers how
their family sat around the table for meals. Get a volunteer and ask the
shape of the table. Then show them in the space where you are placing the
table. Then ask them to select reps for their family members (including
themselves) that sat at the table. Then they place them around the table in
the same way that they place reps (hands on shouldlers, no talking). They
may say, "well, my grandmother was with us for a time", or "should I do
before or after my parents divorce", etc. It doesn't matter for the sake of
the demo, but is nice to have family of origin members. One said, "my father
never ate with us, so we set it up without him and of course his empty space
at the table created feelings in the other reps...). Then I have the reps
look around at each other. In a moment, I go to the father and ask "what's
going on with the father?" and proceed around the group to mother, oldest,
next oldest etc. I always ask the question including who they are ("what's
going on with the middle child, the oldest son, the youngest ddaughter..."
etc.). After they each articulate their awareness, I generally say say I am
going to make some changes. I then (usually) leave father where he is and
then rearrange them to his left - mother, oldest, next oldest, etc. to
youngest. If there is a grandparent I may put them to the father's right,
but not in the first place: if they are living with the family, father (and
maybe mother) are likely supporting them. Cousins come after the children
in the family, if they are there etc. This is not in stone. Remember, the
point is just to give the reps a chance to experience feeling what comes up
and articulating it. After I switch them around, I make another round
starting with father saying, "Has anything changed for the father?" and
proceed around to the others. After that, I usually thank them and have
them sit. On occasion, something appears that requires immediate work, but
my aim is jut to give those who have not experienced being a representative,
that opportunity to do so. Other demonstrations may be setting up a
perpetrator and a victim, either generic or from a particular conflict or
moment in history, or 2 perpetrators and 2 related or unrelated victims.
Again, it is just to allow for a new rep. to experience the "Knowing Field"
at the start of the workshop, so that their questions about it mostly
dissolve and they can focus on the content of the work.
That's it for now! all the best of the season!! sheila
Sheila Saunders, RN, MFT
Systemic Family Solutions
sheila@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
www.systemicfamilysolutions.com
Great Smokies Medical Center of Asheville
1312 Patton Ave. Asheville, NC. 28806
828-273-5015
