Dear Dan
I am impressed by the enormous courage that men have, to face.. life as it
is. Both the client and you Dan, both very courageous men. How could I, as a
woman make a comment on what has happened. I just wouldn't call it
traumatising, rather healing. Maybe nothing could ever have done the work
other than the constellation as it was. And the client knew the work already
for some times. So maybe his soul was ready for this rollercoaster, even if
his personality hadn't fastened the seatbelts yet.
As a colleague I can try to give you feed back on what happens with me as I
read your report.
At the point where you describe the constellation I feel a bit confused. Did
you really set up all these persons in one constellation? Maybe that was a
lot, like there were maybe three or four constellations in one. Might it be
helpful to look at the question behind the question before you set up
something? Like helping the client first to feel the root of his question?
And maybe start with only one or two people to open up the field and to give
the soul some wind under its wings to fly free. Maybe here just the client
and his mother, she is the first woman in his life. Or his father and his
mother, if he is loyal to his father in having problems with women? Just
some thoughts..
But on the other hand I myself sometimes wonder in the opposite way as you
do. Did I do enough when I feel that this work I have done with a client is
only a small part, a beginning of the whole process?? But then I trust the
soul moving on, and whenever it needs my assistance for another small
impulse it will remind the client it is time for another appointment.
(sometimes two years later!)
I do understand from your story that you have a loyalty and a conscience
towards the field of psychology, and constellation work demands of us to be
free and aware of all our different consciousnesses (?) Here is the place
where we grow the most in doing our work.
Thanks for sharing this with us and all the best
Margreet Mossel
_____
Van: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] Namens Dan Booth Cohen
Verzonden: donderdag 15 mei 2008 21:34
Aan: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Onderwerp: [ConstellationTalk] Ethical Question About Constellations in
Prison
This is the final of 9 Case Studies on using Constellations in prison. It
raises an important ethical question.
Here is an excerpt to frame the question.
Background Information
Colin is a gregarious and witty white male in his mid 40s. He has an
athletic build and competes in several of prison's sports and fitness
programs. He also participates in the facility's educational programs,
having completed a Bachelors degree and working on a Masters. During the
Growing Together meetings, Colin was often a source of comic relief. His
humor was always affectionate.
Colin has served 20 years of a 30-35 year sentence for rape and attempted
murder. At the time of his crime he was a heavy drinker and prone to
violent outbursts.
Colin's Constellation
Colin asked to set up a Constellation about his difficulty connecting
emotionally in love relationships with women. Many men have insecurities
about their ability to fully love women. In Colin's case, this was more
than the typical lament. His crime was committed against a woman with whom
he was involved. He was asking to understand, and perhaps remedy, what he
perceived as an inability to share intimacy. However, his question opened
the door to look at the roots of his violent behavior.
[Description of the Constellation.]
In his questionnaire, Colin wrote:
"As I watched the representatives standing in the Constellation, my first
thoughts were that this would accomplish nothing. But as the Constellation
went on, I soon realized that this was far from the truth. Issues of
abandonment, that I thought I had resolved with my father, came right to the
fore. When representatives were placed in the Constellation for my victim,
wife, and children, the raw emotion that this evoked was terrifying. I
don't think I was ready for what I experienced that day. Love, hate, anger,
compassion, and a host of other emotions came on so strong that I felt
completely overwhelmed."
Colin wrote about his struggle with his feelings in the days following the
Constellation:
"The experience left me shaken for several days. I couldn't seem to stop
the flood of raw emotions that kept rising to the surface over the course of
those few days. To tell the truth, it scared me too much. At the time, the
whole situation seemed overwhelming and I did not want to deal with it. "
He stopped attending meetings. Then he began coming again after about two
years.
He writes:
"What I have come to realize is that I am a better person for having these
experiences. Even though the emotions were intense I feel I have come away
richer for having experienced them. I can say for certain that there was a
definite shift in certain aspects of my relationships, though perhaps not so
for other aspects. Since I have start attending Constellations again, the
strong emotions are still there, but I know better what to expect now. Even
though they scare the hell out of me sometimes, when I feel them, I know I'm
better for it. They make me feel alive!"
By the standards of the American Psychological Association the Constellation
would likely be considered an unethical intervention. The man is part of a
vulnerable population, the method is not empirically supported, he did not
give informed consent to the risks, and he was deeply disturbed by the
experience.
There are a number of sides to the argument of whether the Constellation was
helpful or harmful, whether an ethical facilitator should lead the group as
I do.
The prisoners in the group have all voiced their support for process. They
show up every month voluntarily and have for 4 years. Some, like Colin,
dropped out for a time, and have rejoined more recently. They are actively
recruiting new members from the prison population.
One could argue that making a man who has committed rape and attempted
murder "feel bad" is not bad in itself, especially if it has a positive
benefit in the long run.
One could argue that it is the facilitator's responsibility to keep group
participants from being "re-traumatized" as Colin likely was. If I cannot
reasonably assure this level of security, I should not be proceeding.
I have my own answers, but as you can tell, I struggle with them.
I would like to hear what others have to say about this.
Thanks,
Dan
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