Hello Lawrence
Even if the father has been absent, being able to see and feel the support
from male ancestors represented, is powerful. It has been helpful to have
men in the group, as a group, encourage fatherless sons to step into being
an adult male. In most indigenous communities, this would have been
ritualised. Ceremonies around this in our circles have been very moving.
It has also been good to have such men meet a rep for their father to whom
they can say what they need to say now, today. (This may be gratitude for
life, for their strong body or other pertinent characteristics. It may be
to tell them that they would be proud of their son or to express their
grief openly for all that they both missed out on without the
relationship.. many things that can repair the stream of life.)
Hope your work goes well.
Warmly
Eimear
On Wed, Sep 3, 2014 at 6:32 PM, David Slade davidslade8@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
There is a great book called You Are One of Us that talks about these
issues, I highly rec.
On Thu, May 22, 2014 at 11:50 AM, Lawrence Ngorora lavincisa@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Dear Constellators
I recently returned from a "men's training" where 30 young men from a
private university "crossed the threshold". In the outline of the weekend
activities was a slot for "Fathers" which alternatively or silently also
speaks of mothers. The young men were asked to give their name, father's
and grandfather's as far back as one could go then also give names of sons
and grandsons if it applies. (A rough estimate gave almost 80% of the men
taking part in this process reporting that their male role model was their
mothers because they did not have fathers as they grew up and some have
never seen their fathers). What struck me was one young man who, midway a
process decided he would not take part any more and walked away. I spoke to
him as he walked away and he broke down in sobs with the statement " I cut
him out of my life", " me and my mum we don't need him any more in our
life". If any of you have worked with such issues in a classroom
environment, what suggestions or comments could you offer as a way to take
this work further as classroom exercises? what might I need to consider or
think about?
Many Thanks
Lawrence Ngorora
--
*David Slade*
*Family Tree Care*
www.family-tree-care.com
203-804-5291
