Vinay and Barbara,
I concur with what you have each said. When I first started facilitating, I
used to impose "rules" somewhat more, but after 11 years of facilitating, I am
more comfortable to go with whatever comes up, choosing men for women etc. I
will say however, that I generally say at the start of a workshop, "Let's use
men for men and women for women as far as they go; this just makes it a bit
easier for me..." This seems to satisfy people without sounding dictatorial.
Then if they "defy" this, fine, I'm not too bothered, and as Barbara says, it
is just more grist for the mill.
As to the talking about a constellation after the fact, I have found that the
person truly is quite vulnerable to this information right after their
constellation. So at the start I often say, "It is very possible to have a
quite deep experience during a constellation, no matter where you are viewing
it from, I have one, you have one as an observer or a representative, and the
person who is the subject has one. It seems to honor the work most, and provide
the space needed to feel it, when we wait a bit before talking about it, if at
all. So maybe after a break, if you are still eager to share something, that is
a better time to do it than right after the end of the work."
Just a few thoughts. Wonderful that you have had the opportunity for the work
in Japan, Vinay.
all the best, sheila
Sheila Saunders, RN, LMFT
www.systemicfamilysolutions.com
PO Box 1011 Weaverville, North Carolina 28787
828-273-5015
Even If It Costs Me My Life! by Stephan Hausner; available for $33 plus
shipping - hit REPLY with BOOK in subject line.
"When we have passed a certain age, the soul of the child we were and the souls
of the dead from whom we have sprung come to lavish on us their riches and
their spells." -Marcel Proust (In Search of Lost Time)
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From: theknowingfield@xxxxxxxxx
Date: Wed, 31 Oct 2012 16:20:35 +0000
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Opinions
Dear Steve,
I am inclined to err on the side of reps not reporting back after a
constellation as I do think it can interfere with the process. Often, there
is a need to let go of something or to make the client feel better or to
say something clever. Yes maybe the rep is trying to make sense of
something but why do they need to? If they are left with something
unfinished in my view that is more to do with them. I usually say that
mostly once you sit down the constellation is over but if you are left with
something it is more about you personally, then you can choose whether you
wish to stay with it and see it as a gift or let go of it in which case you
can derole with the client.
In some really heavy constellations where most of the group seem to be left
with something I will invite the client to treat him or herself to a cup of
tea and a walk so the reps have time to speak or let go of something.
If someone chooses a female rep for a man or vice versa when there are
people of the same gender available I note it as significant in some way
for the constellation but I don't make them change it.
Both interesting questions.
Barbara
On 14 October 2012 23:21, Steve Vinay Gunther <spirited@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
**
Hi all
I have just finished another constellation tour of Japan (4 cities). A
great experience, as always. Theres a few things I wanted to get other
perspectives on.
The first one, is that at times I find people who have just been
representatives, after the constellation is finished, want to mention some
things about their experience as rep. I am cautious about this, but find it
happens quite a bit. On one level, it seems a bit to me like re-opening the
constellation up. But on another level, I guess its people making sense of
their experience, and kind of debriefing. Perhaps its a sign that they are
not fully out of role, though I don't think thats exactly it. If someone
uses it as a platform to start interpreting things, I stop that. But other
times, they just want to say something about their experience. I am in two
minds about this kind of discussion in the group.
I am interested in how others deal with this.
The second thing is something that has been talked about quite a few
times, on this list, and other constellation discussions. I know people
have a range of views, and I guess I am interested in hearing a few current
perspectives. Sometimes, like today, the client wanted to pick a woman to
represent a male role - this was their brother. I prefer not to do so. But
I also wonder - well, this is something significant in the field, that they
want to do this, so perhaps I should just let them, and see what happens.
Well, I would appreciate hearing other's views on these matters.
Thanks
Vinay
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
--
Barbara Morgan
Family Constellations Trainer, Supervisor & Practitioner
Editor of
The Knowing Field
International Constellations Journal
www.theknowingfield.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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