Hi Gary - didn't suggest we audit adult behavior - there are plenty wanting
that role - thought it reasonable to alert participants to the dynamics at play
so they can make informed decisions and choices.
I too have never heard the issue raise before, not sure that means anything
though, however, as a rep in 100's of constellations am familiar of the forces
at play many of which are intoxicating - it seems appropriate we point out
these experiences belong to someone else.
Here I am simply attempting to improve the quality of service we provide -
under no circumstances am I trying to suggest we become 'moral police'.
Certainly interested in the input of others
All the best
David
----- Original Message -----
From: Gary Stuart
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2008 2:31 PM
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] RE: [Constellation Talk] Synthetic love
Dear David,
Is it our place as facilitators of this work to "order Adults behaviors"
sexual or otherwise? Doesn't that cross a line of honor and respect with
freedom to chose whatever one chooses..maybe I missed a memo during all my
trainings with Heinz Stark, Bert Hellinger etc. I've never heard of this in
the 10 years of my participating and facilitating consenting adults willing
to heal on many levels other therapies don't touch etc. I generally assume
if a rep is a rapist or perpetrator in any constellation that he will not go
out and kill after his representation in someone else's systemic
Field..Maybe you're a licensed psychotherapist perhaps? I know in America
there are very rigid standards for them in their practice..I generally come
from a more shamanistic, spiritual point of view etc. I think this needs
more clarification and feedback in general. So it is good for us to have
appropriate boundaries and let the Rep's be guided by their own conscience
and not the Facilitator's outside of the workshop experience?
Thanks Gary Stuart LA, CA Gary@xxxxxxxxxxxx
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of David Ward
Sent: Sunday, June 22, 2008 9:18 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Synthetic love
We recently had a man and woman representing a couple in a highly charged
sexual atmosphere - a representative of love was introduced and this
transformed the experience of those representing the couple.
The representatives were experienced with our work, however because of the
intensity of the roles I half jokingly said - no intimate contact for 60
days please!!
After that workshop I recalled the very brief relationship of 2 clients that
grew out of an earlier workshop, that was particularly painful for the
woman.
I was relaying this story to a member of Constellation Talk at a recent peer
group meeting and he suggest putting a report up on constellation talk.
Experiences in constellations can be extremely powerful and for those who
new to the work, don't understand the dynamics and/or are vulnerable it
would be easy to misinterpret their experience. The 'synthetic love' of a
constellation may not be the ideal ground for a love/sexual relationship to
spring from.
Other workshop organisations insist participants don't engage in 'intimate
relationships' with other participants for 6 months after the completion of
the workshop.
I feel we have responsibility here, we'll be alerting our clients to this
phenomena in the future.
David Ward
Fresh Medicine
Healesville
Australia
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