Dear Julio, Sherry and Deborah,
Thank you each for your thoughts. I am not familiar enough with
Jodorowsky's work to be able to comment; but it does sound like a contrived
atonement. I do see what Sherry commented as being the intention of our
work: the "at one ment" of all in the system. I thank you Deborah. I, like
you, found "at one ment" "fluffy" the first time I heard or read it. But
the more I contemplate the act of Atonement as I perceive it the more I get
that unity precept. A recognition at a deep level of the profound
responsibility in all perpetrator/victim relationships and a further desire
to salve the wound of a perpetration in a tangible and fungible way.
One of the authors in the book, Kate Dahlstedt, speaks of the
documentary *Breaking
Bows and Arrows: A Search for Reconciliation and Forgiveness *which speaks
to the ceremonial forgiveness on Bourgainville an island in what is today
Papua New Guinea. I would like to quote from the book to illustrate my
query:
"...they can recall a time when they were at peace, when they were a
close-knit community of family and friends and fellow clan members. They
long for those days and wish to make amends with one another, to break down
the barriers between them, and to rekindle their former relationships.
As they make preparations for this important day, their more recent
negative attitudes toward one another begin to change. They have all shared
in the sacrifices and horrors, and now they must carry that history
together in love and respect. Special foods are harvested and prepared over
open fires. Large, sweet-smelling flowers are cut in order to replace the
negative thoughts the people have been harboring toward one another. When
the day arrives, special garb, traditionally worn for making amends, is
donned.
They begin by forming two lines and pointing their arrows at one another to
symbolize what had taken place between them. Then each group pretends to
row toward the other for the meeting. Across a metal platform the former
enemies exchange betel nuts, a symbolic traditional gesture of peace. They
then pass a pig, dressed for roasting, across the platform and back again.
Once peace has been declared in this way, the ex-combatants apologize to
one another and shake hands. They break apart their bows and arrows and
throw them in a pile. Together they place their hands on a large ceremonial
stone, a memorial to the peace pact and a reminder that the fighting is
over. After they have lowered it into the ground together, they throw their
broken weapons down over it. To these people the ritual has made the
agreement irrevocable. No one would dare break it.
One of the ex-combatants, Frances Boisibere, had killed one of the clan
chiefs during the war and buried his remains. The chiefs wife had been
pregnant and had several other children. Filled with remorse for what he
had done, and to lift the heavy darkness from his heart, Frances asks for a
personal atonement ceremony. He and other ex-combatants he had fought with
carefully build a coffin and cover it with lovely cloth that they have
selected themselves. They create something beautiful to atone for an act of
violent destruction.
They carry the coffin out into the bush to the site where the chief was
buried, and dig up the bones. Each one is removed from the earth, washed,
and dried tenderly, then placed in the coffin. Frances surrenders to this
experience. He is saddened as he covers the coffin. With each bone that is
cleaned, he feels the impact of what he did ever more deeply and cannot
hold back his tears. It is as if with each tear, with each bone wiped
clean, Frances is also purified and cleansed. With his gentle, caring
movements, he has restored his humanity.
The coffin is carried to the chiefs wife and mother, where a ceremonial
funeral house has been created and decorated traditionally. Frances
apologizes to the family in front of the whole community and offers the
wife a financial gift. They all exchange betel nuts to open their hearts
and then place the coffin into its final grave. Although they are all still
saddened by the loss, they have peace in their hearts toward one another.
Frances has atoned. His heart is light."
The last paragraph is the key for me. The apology to the family in front of
the whole community and the offering of a financial gift appear to be the
crux of the atonement. In Constellations the apology is plausible and
possible but how can we symbolically offer recompense for the hurt done and
the pain caused?
I am beginning to believe that in any trauma work that we undertake through
this methodology this last aspect is critically important for the healing
of both the aggrieved and particularly the perpetrator who I think might
feel an emptiness to merely say, "I am sorry". He/she need to reach deeper
within to heal.
Thanks again for you thoughts and comments. They are each most helpful as I
wrestle with this dilemma as I work with clients who are deeply affected by
violence at all levels.
I apologize for the length of the post but I thought it necessary to
properly illustrate a ritual or procedure which I find absent in our work.
Fondly,
Stephen
Stephen Campbell
SYSTEMIC CONSTELLATION FACILITATOR / CONSTELADOR SISTÉMICO
MA, R.SC.P., MPNLP (HEALTH)
USA: T. 904.430.0248 / 213.985.2368
Perú: T. (511) 586.8067 / C. (511) 995.512.315 / RPM # 601922
E-mail: coachuno@xxxxxxxxx
Contact me: [image: Skype] elcoachuno
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MA, R.SC.P., MPNLP (HEALTH)
USA: T. 904.430.0248 / 213.985.2368
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On Tue, Jan 31, 2012 at 12:03, deborahgf <choices@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
**
I think it's worth considering what we mean by atonement. Some years
ago, in the context of Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement, I read a
piece which said that atonement really means at-one-ment. In other
words, it's about reconnecting with that of which we are already a part
or to which we are already connected.
Frankly, my first reaction was that the author was offering a very
modern and "soft" interpretation to make the idea more palatable in the
21st Century, but when I checked the etymology, it turns out that's
exactly what "atonement" means in English, at least in its original
usage. Atonement is about "restoration of friendly relations" according
to Merriam-Webster, which comes quite close to some of what we see in
constellations.
Stephen's point about how well we convey the meaning of "accepting who
we are and all that has happened as our destiny" is important,
especially when we use words like "atonement" or "forgiveness," which
can be so loaded with meaning for the hearer. But the meaning and
experience of "restoration of friendly relations" (Webster also uses the
word "reconciliation") is quite appropriate for constellation work. It
can be part of the stance we hold as facilitators, whether or not we use
the word "atonement."
Deborah Gavrin Frangquist
Career & Business Coaching and Consulting
NLP, Reiki, Systemic Constellations
415-346-6121; mobile 415-642-0225
www.ChosenFutures.com
--- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Stephen Campbell
<coachuno@...> wrote:
Fellow colleagues,
I am currently reading *Beyond Forgiveness: Reflections on Atonement*by
Phil Cousineau. The book is a series of interviews and essays from aConstellations.
variety of philosophers, spiritual leaders, psychologists and
psychiatrists. It has had me reflect on Atonement inside of
It could be said that "atonement requires accepting who we are and allthat
has happened as our destiny." I am uncertain that this is explicitlyto ask
conveyed in many constellations. Since the practice I learned is not
for or grant forgiveness; but, to acknowledge one's responsibility byparticular I
saying "I am sorry" I am wondering where atonement fits in. In
have not experienced any form of restitution or recompense for"damage"
done in our work.
I am curious to know your thoughts and welcome any edification on the
matter of atonement within a Constellation.
Sincerely,
Stephen
Stephen Campbell
SYSTEMIC CONSTELLATION FACILITATOR / CONSTELADOR SISTÉMICO
MA, R.SC.P., MPNLP (HEALTH)
USA: T. 904.430.0248 / 213.985.2368
Perú: T. (511) 586.8067 / C. (511) 995.512.315 / RPM # 601922
E-mail: coachuno@...
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On Mon, Jan 30, 2012 at 13:33, Adrian Franco Zevada afranco@... wrote:
**
area
Hello group
Could any one refer me to a Constellation facilitator in the L.A.
please?
Answers to my personal email please: afranco@...
Regards,
Adrián Franco
Franco Zevada y Asociados, S.C.
Paseo de las Palmas 755-1201
Lomas de Chapultepec
D.F. 11000
México
+(52-55) 5202-2050 x204
+(52155) 5401-4898 cel
afranco@...
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