Yes, I agree, and to muddy the water a little…;-)
Inexperienced representatives often want to contribute ideas that don’t come
from the Field but are their preconceived notions of how it should unfold, or
out of a desire to be “helpful.” I often find it necessary to gently, kindly,
but firmly interrupt these contributions because they only deepen the present
state of the system’s disorder, and it takes even more energy to move forward
when we spend time in “helpful” ideas that don’t widen our frame. Obviously,
this needs to be done respectfully, but I do feel that sometimes firmness and
authority are really needed.
And, of course, there is the deeper discernment to tell the difference between
the two…
Peace, Leslie
The Rev. Leslie Nipps
NLP & Family Constellations Practititoner
“Trust as a Way of Life…”
leslie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
On Jan 4, 2015, at 3:35 PM, Robert Grant erebees@xxxxxxxxx [ConstellationTalk]
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Dear Friends,
“I felt that I had interrupted a process that I should have allowed out of a
concept about forgiveness as opposed to out of something that arose from
within the field.“
Yes, I feel very strongly that the above statement highlights perhaps one of
the greatest challenge in the evolution of the constellation method. All too
often I witness facilitators falling into the trap of “knowing better” rather
than allowing the field to guide them in constellation. And I mean the whole
field, all those present in the room, client and representative in equal
measure.
I find participating in peer practice groups very helpful where there is
openness to discuss our differing approaches and learn from one an other
without the distorting effects of ego, unawareness, financial imperatives and
facilitator authority.
Best wishes to all,
Robert
On Mon, Jan 5, 2015 at 9:01 AM, Alison Fornes maitreya71@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
In a Constellation not long ago that I facilitated, the representative for
the client's brother suddenly felt a rising up and said either, "I'm sorry"
or "forgive me". I did my facilitator thing and interrupted him. While I
don't recall the specifics of what happened next, and the constellation was
rich and powerful and healing, what stayed with me were questions about why I
interrupted him.
When I processed with the client afterwards and we spoke about that moment,
she said that she felt a great surge of emotion, for this was the he first
time she had heard anything that suggested a recognition of the pain he
caused her. I felt that I had interrupted a process that I should have
allowed out of a concept about forgiveness as opposed to out of something
that arose from within the field.
I certainly resonate with these posts and the need to be truly present for
seeing, feeling and honoring the pain that is present. But isn't there also a
space for deep sorrow, regret?
As I write, I notice my own answer emerges. Seeing the constant rise and fall
different aspects, no end point. "I am sorry", "forgive me", just another
arising in the healing movement. If we as facilitators can hold each arising
moment while still being open to what's next, as opposed to constricting as I
did in that moment, perhaps that is what allows something truly new to
emerge, even for me as a facilitator.
Grateful for this forum to help process it.
With a Sunny Heart,
Alison
