Wonderful metaphors, Leslie. I use some of them, and look forward to
using others you include below. I have also found that, even with very
logical/analytical business folks, I can talk about things we feel
without knowing how to describe them, or I can refer to acting on
hunches before we can articulate all the evidence, and they can relate
that to their own experience. The phrase "hidden dynamics" is often helpful.
With engineers and scientists, it's often easiest to just ask them about
the systems they work with, since they all do that. Once they give me
some examples, we can go from there.
Deborah
On 3/26/2018 8:28 AM, Leslie Nipps lnipps@xxxxxxxxx [ConstellationTalk]
wrote:
Great conversation! Harrison, I am curious about what you’re noticing
about types of thinking. I do think we all have strengths (I have
begun to think about Systemic Intelligence, along the lines of
Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence). And, I sometimes see that if we
engage the correct system, most people are thinking systemically, at
least some of the time. So, I tend to have a pocket-full of analogies
for people to start getting it. Here are some I use regularly:
“Imagine you have a knee pain, and you go to your doctor, and the
doctor tries all kinds of things, but nothing helps. Then you go to a
cranial sacral therapist (usually works in the Bay Area!) and she
says, of course, the problem isn’t in your knee, but in your neck. She
adjusts your neck, and your knee feels better. So, similarly, what if
your depression is like your knee - it feels local to you, but you
aren’t where it’s being held or where it needs to have an intervention?”
“Have you ever worked somewhere that was so toxic, that despite all
your best intentions to show up as your best self, you found yourself
day after day failing, becoming someone you don’t like very much?
Systems win. Pretty much always.” (Usually accompanied to much nodding
of heads.)
“If you are cold in your house, you can think yourself out of your
feeling of coldness (actually, probably not), or, you can turn up the
heat. In systems work, we’re asking questions about the environment,
even in situations where the environmental factors may not be so
obvious.”
After I’ve delivered these or other analogies, I go on the describe
how we live in larger, invisible systems that are affecting us all the
time. I talk about the Day of the Dead and Shinto Ancestor Worship,
and how for most of the lifespan of the human race, it’s been taken
for granted that the dead are in some way alive to us, and we can
learn from these traditions. I can even refer to the Catholic
Communion of Saints. And for engineers and other science-y types I can
talk about the Whole being Greater than the Sum of the Parts, how Ant
Colonies work, etc.
Anyway, along the way, I find that pretty much everyone has some kind
of systemic thinking going on - it just depends on which systems they
have attention already pre-existing, and how to connect with and
expand that personal experience. We just need to find the systemic map
they are already working with (enough) so they can begin to imagine it
as applied to their own family systems.
Maybe I have an advantage in the Bay Area, but I rarely find this a
problem. Indeed, for most people, this expansion of their
understanding usually elicits enormous relief as they see how it’s not
all about them, and the reality of systemic dynamics influences
everything. And for more linear thinkers, it is usually so interesting
I can bring them along, too!
Peace, L
The Rev. Leslie Nipps
Convivium Constellations - Founder, Practitioner & Trainer
www.conviviumconstellations.com <http://www.conviviumconstellations.com>
Ask me about the West Coast Constellations Intensive, May 30-June 3,
2018, www.westcoastconstellations.com
<http://www.westcoastconstellations.com>
"Hasten to that which supports." - The I Ching
On Mar 26, 2018, at 8:03 AM, Chuck Cogliandro chuck@xxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:chuck@xxxxxxxxxxx> [ConstellationTalk]
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>> wrote:
With respect and kindness Oscar, perhaps part of the process is to
consider how even the people who do not ‘get’ constellations have a
place in the workshop. It would be like following the teaching to give
everyone a good place in the family and accept them just as they are,
not wishing they were any different. As facilitator of course it is
your place to decide what is best for the client’s healing, and choose
to have the people who don’t get it stand as representatives, or just
observe. Perhaps holding this consciousness and space for them would
contribute to everyone’s healing and sense of inclusion.
The practice of constellations has esoteric elements, and I have come
to accept that it’s not for everyone, and I’ve become much more
comfortable with that.
peace,
Chuck Cogliandro
constellationjourneys.com <http://constellationjourneys.com>
Decatur, GA USA
