Hi all,
Great input, thanks!
In the order of the last to the first reply I like to acknowledge your
reply, and what it does with me in my process on this question:
@ Leslie: Simple analogies work like a charm indeed, thanks for sharing
them, I will remember the knee and ants one! I like them. They feel
concrete enough to fit my style and audience. The relief you describe I
often find in larger, more cognitive-oriented (business) groups as well,
and (even linear-oriented) people can get very excited, yet in smaller
groups "disconnect" stands out more I find.
@ Chuck: Spot on point of not wanting people to be any different. I know I
do this "anerkennen, was ist" during the workshop, yet later I am still
puzzled somehow, hence this thread/question. I see your invitation to
explore this acceptance, since somehow I am still learning to accept to
"let go" and "let someone be" and "be fine with that" and trusting that
this is or can indeed be the case. Tnx!
@ Poppy: Yes, I generally ask newcomers to solely or mostly report, notice,
and follow their body's movements. Sometimes people don't access any
sensations though. Like you say, it reminded me again of these options to
not do a constellation, stop it earlier, or accept the "noise" that comes
with doing a constellation. Good to get that refreshed hihi. In the case of
resistance and disconnect, I sometimes like to find a way to still work
with it, e.g. building a wall of chairs for the thoughts this person put up
between himself and his feelings; and saying "This is where I am" can be v
powerful.
@ Harrison: I like the different ways of processing indeed, very useful as I
think it's a great way of framing how we move towards ever more complexity
in today's business paradigms. Would you have the reference towards this
study? I would be very interested, and I see this need growing with the
impact we're having on our ecosystems – it requires deep reflections on
systems thinking.
@ Heiki: Good point. Indeed we need to be careful not to overlay/go along
in shunning away of the pain of daily life. I strive to make constellations
work for people to see more of reality, not less.
@ Laure: Indeed, we need to be honest and humble with regards to the
different modalities of processing, next to acknowledging that other
methodologies exist, also to humanity's benefit. If I read that, it is as
if a "responsibility" or sense of that is given back to where it belongs –
it is shared amongst all humanity and people professionals, not only up to
the field of constellations. Yay to that!
Thanks again for the rich stimulation of reflection, I feel supported, and
taken care of. It's important to me and the work we're doing I feel.
Cheers, Oscar
-
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On 26 March 2018 at 17:28, Leslie Nipps lnipps@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Great conversation! Harrison, I am curious about what you’re noticing
about types of thinking. I do think we all have strengths (I have begun to
think about Systemic Intelligence, along the lines of Goleman’s Emotional
Intelligence). And, I sometimes see that if we engage the correct system,
most people are thinking systemically, at least some of the time. So, I
tend to have a pocket-full of analogies for people to start getting it.
Here are some I use regularly:
“Imagine you have a knee pain, and you go to your doctor, and the doctor
tries all kinds of things, but nothing helps. Then you go to a cranial
sacral therapist (usually works in the Bay Area!) and she says, of course,
the problem isn’t in your knee, but in your neck. She adjusts your neck,
and your knee feels better. So, similarly, what if your depression is like
your knee - it feels local to you, but you aren’t where it’s being held or
where it needs to have an intervention?”
“Have you ever worked somewhere that was so toxic, that despite all your
best intentions to show up as your best self, you found yourself day after
day failing, becoming someone you don’t like very much? Systems win. Pretty
much always.” (Usually accompanied to much nodding of heads.)
“If you are cold in your house, you can think yourself out of your feeling
of coldness (actually, probably not), or, you can turn up the heat. In
systems work, we’re asking questions about the environment, even in
situations where the environmental factors may not be so obvious.”
After I’ve delivered these or other analogies, I go on the describe how we
live in larger, invisible systems that are affecting us all the time. I
talk about the Day of the Dead and Shinto Ancestor Worship, and how for
most of the lifespan of the human race, it’s been taken for granted that
the dead are in some way alive to us, and we can learn from these
traditions. I can even refer to the Catholic Communion of Saints. And for
engineers and other science-y types I can talk about the Whole being
Greater than the Sum of the Parts, how Ant Colonies work, etc.
Anyway, along the way, I find that pretty much everyone has some kind of
systemic thinking going on - it just depends on which systems they have
attention already pre-existing, and how to connect with and expand that
personal experience. We just need to find the systemic map they are already
working with (enough) so they can begin to imagine it as applied to their
own family systems.
Maybe I have an advantage in the Bay Area, but I rarely find this a
problem. Indeed, for most people, this expansion of their understanding
usually elicits enormous relief as they see how it’s not all about them,
and the reality of systemic dynamics influences everything. And for more
linear thinkers, it is usually so interesting I can bring them along, too!
Peace, L
The Rev. Leslie Nipps
Convivium Constellations - Founder, Practitioner & Trainer
www.conviviumconstellations.com
Ask me about the West Coast Constellations Intensive, May 30-June 3, 2018,
www.westcoastconstellations.com
"Hasten to that which supports." - The I Ching
On Mar 26, 2018, at 8:03 AM, Chuck Cogliandro chuck@xxxxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>> wrote:
With respect and kindness Oscar, perhaps part of the process is to
consider how even the people who do not ‘get’ constellations have a place
in the workshop. It would be like following the teaching to give everyone a
good place in the family and accept them just as they are, not wishing they
were any different. As facilitator of course it is your place to decide
what is best for the client’s healing, and choose to have the people who
don’t get it stand as representatives, or just observe. Perhaps holding
this consciousness and space for them would contribute to everyone’s
healing and sense of inclusion.
The practice of constellations has esoteric elements, and I have come to
accept that it’s not for everyone, and I’ve become much more comfortable
with that.
peace,
Chuck Cogliandro
constellationjourneys.com
Decatur, GA USA
