Dear All,
I've only experienced one constellation where I was the representatvie for a
Vietnam Veteran. However, here in South Africa, I've worked with several
clients who were in combat in Angola during the 1980's , sent there by the
Apartheid government.
Many of these young men were indoctrinated to see the enemy as terrorists that
were subhuman. In constellations, one of the keys has benn to represent the
mother and father of the man they may have shot, stabbed or even tortured to
death. This has been key to assisting the client in seeing that his enemy was
indeed human and that there is equality between them. Of course, it all depnds
on the client and the situation, and like others have said, representing their
dead comrades, the commanding officer (in cases of torture) and the overal
commander in chief, the Government of the time.
In all cases I have seen, there has either been a strong sense of guilt towards
the 'enemy' and/or disdain and anger, all feelings intermingled. By placing the
enemy's mother in the picture changes the focus. This set-up seems to have
particular relevance here in South Africa where the young soldiers were
indoctirnated for the most part to believe that their enemies had no soul, and
were little more than animals.
One female client once said "We expect too much of our menfolk. We complain
that they are not sensitive, but they lose their comrades in battle, then they
have to deal with the guilt of having killed someone, and then they come home
and have to deal with my miscarriage. I only lost a child, he has lost so much
more, inlcuding his child".
When this came up in a workshop, all of the women wept, they wept for 'the
world of men' and began to understand that this story has been true for
countless generations of men, especially Europeans.
My father was sent to Korea when he was 20 years old for two and a half years.
Eight of them went from the same school and neighbourhood where he lived, only
3 returned. He witnessed the death of each of the five and at one time
witnessed the aftermath of a massacre where every woman and child in a village
had been slaughtered. At that time, his group went into the village to stop the
massacre and a boy appeared with an automatic riffle, the boy was shot in self
defence. This story has come up several times in my own constellations and I
remember as a child being awoken at night by my father sceaming in his
nightmares. Now that he is 76, he speaks more and more of these things.
A few years aog, just as we were approaching his 70th birthday we sat atop the
rock of Gibraltar enjoying the view of the coast of spain and morocco in one
glance and I asked him what was his most memorable birthday. I expected him to
tell me the day his father came home with a new bicycle or some such thing.
However, what I was told was the birthday when he was walking along a English
country lane towards his school and a Messerschmidt diving down over the road
and dropping a bomb on the school where he was headed, many of the children
died. For the first time in my life I wept with my father and truly felt proud
to be his son. My thought was, despite all of this, and the Korean war, this
man managed to be my father. I felt true honour for his strength and fortitude,
his willingness to continue on in life and humbled by his story. His father, my
grandfather, was an engineer, his job was to make armaments to battle and bomb
the Germans with.
This last Christmas, my father gave me a DVD as a gift. The DVD was of an old
British comedy called 'Allo 'Allo. It is a comedy set in a fictional French
village called Nouvian. the main characters are Rene, the cafe owner, Michelle
the French resistance member, General Klinkerhoffen, the German commanding
officer of the occupational forces, Herr Flick, the local Gestapo officer and
two British Airmen that are hiding from the Germans, plus many other
characters. My father is a great fan of this comedy series, and it is indeed
very funny. A very British way to deal with trauma and I enjoy watching him
laugh at it as we have watched it together.
John
*************************************************************************
The South African Institute for Family Constellations
Tel: 011 614 0821
www.familyconstellations.net
NEW BOOK: "The Healing of Individuals, Families and Nations"
Details: www.familyconstellations.net/newbook.htm
Brenda,
What I have experienced in general in working with people involved in any war
is representatives are needed for the client, their dead buddies or relatives,
their dead enemies, sometimes their country and the opposing country, and
sometimes a strong leader such as Hitler, Chairman Mao, Pol Pot etc.
For the American Vietnam Vets, it's usually them, their dead buddies, the Viet
Cong (or dead women and children who they had to kill in self defense).
Each story is individual. They experienced one or many huge traumas, usually
watching someone die who they cared about, and because of the tremendous
emotional pain, they have never been able to deal with the guilt of not being
able to help and the anger at the enemy.
Diane Yankelevitz
www.WisdomHealing.com
Hi All Brenda Sutherland has asked me to post the following enquiry to the
group:
Hi Chris Could you post out to the group if anyone has worked with Vietnam Vets
and if they could share their experience using Constellation work..including
the main representatives that were used?
Thanks Brenda Sutherland
My email address at the mo does not connect into the group due to computer
arrangements
Hi Chris Could you post out to the group if anyone has worked with Vietnam Vets
and if they could share their experience using Constellation work..including
the main representatives that were used?
