Friends,
If we launch into giving advice with measures of certainty before having
the facts of the case clear we end up embarrassed, are we not? Then there
is the new challenge to deal with this embarrassment creatively, in a way
that will strengthen us.
Kind regards,
Robert
On Sun, Apr 13, 2014 at 8:32 PM, Joanna Malinowska <
joanna@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hi Carolyn and Christina,
There is a difference between having a relative touching a child and
imagining that this will happen in the future. I understand that the woman
who asked the question just gave birth to her first child and HEARD about
some incidents when relatives molested children. Is that true? So she was
asking the question how to recognize a potential pedophile in her family,
is it right? She has a baby and she is afraid to trust her family. This is
what you are saying, Christina, am I right? The fears are irrational at
this stage, and quite a big worry. The poor mother would not be able to
function in her new role with those fears, she definitely needs a lot of
explaining.
Warmest Regards
Joanna Malinowska
On Sun, Apr 13, 2014 at 2:55 PM, Carolyn Zahner <cpzahner@xxxxxxxxxxxx>wrote:
Dear Christina,
I fully agree with Alison - and thank you Alison for your prompt reply.
An adult, trusted relative or not, who "...reads books to a small child
while touching the boys private parts," is abusing the child. The woman
making this inquiry can be assured that such behavior is abusive and should
take action to protect both the young boy and her own child from this
relative. Taking prompt action is required. To not do so it where we see
the family entanglements.
Adults who sexually abuse children in the family (incest) may or may not
be pedophiles (those who seek out children as their primary choice for
sexual "partners"). Incest is often simply a matter of "convenience"
for the perpetrator. Either way, pedophile or not, the description given
is, in fact, a description of sexual abuse.
Considerations of trans generational trauma, entanglements, etc should
not ever, in anyway, be a reason to fail to protect a child. Non judgment
does not mean that perpetration is denied. Accepting what is in the family
field does not excuse us from action when we see abuse of a child. Silence
is complicity and held in the unresolved trauma/loyalty in the field.
May this young mother find permission inside of her own family field to
find her voice and power to take care of the children.
Best regards,
Carolyn
*Carolyn Zahner, MSW, LISW, Inc*
513-697-0260
Private Practice, Integrative Psychotherapy
www.carolynzahner.com
*From:* alison@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
*Sent:* Saturday, April 12, 2014 9:46 PM
*To:* ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
*Subject:* Re: [ConstellationTalk] Request for information
Dear Christina -
I only have time for a very brief comment, but in light of the last
contribution, I am compelled...
I know for a fact this very circumstance can be very real and not a
figment of paranoid thinking or a need to validate parental projections.
Although certainly these phenomena exist and perhaps are common, I am
sure that there are children who are never asked and never tell that indeed
there are those on this planet who find the pretext of reading to children
a perfect cover and context for molestation.
Best wishes in your positively influencing this potentially traumatizing
situation -
Alison
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
------------------------------
*From: *"Cristina Casanova" <krsna-l@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
*Sender: *ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
*Date: *Sat, 12 Apr 2014 17:42:31 -0400
*To: *<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
*ReplyTo: *ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
*Subject: *[ConstellationTalk] Request for information
Dear friends and colleagues:
One of my clients in India is concerned about a “trusted relative”
who reads books to a small child while touching the boys private parts.
She is asking me for information on how to recognize a pedofile,speciallt
when this person is a trusted relative. She just gave birth to first baby
girl child.
Thank you for any information, and or lead….
Cristina Casanova
--
Joanna Malinowska
Clinical Hypnotherapist
www.myhypno.com.au
www.self-hypnosis.com.au
Mobile 0412 092 972
