Now that you bring up this topic again, I'll share what happened today.
I young woman came into my office. She had large dark circles
under her eyes from all of her crying. I asked why she came. She said that
she thought that she had postpartum depression or something because she had felt
extreme anxiety and depression since the birth of her baby 8 months ago.
She said that the baby had a lot of heath problems. The psychiatrist 2 doors
down from
me had given her antidepressants. When she paused from her story,
I said, " You lost a child didn't you?" She said that she had had an abortion
at age 15
and a miscarriage a few years after that. I had her set up herself , the
aborted baby and
the dad. She finally grieved the baby for the first time. Of course we did a
simliar
ritual for the second child. She also introduced the children to her living
children through the
Playmobile dolls.
The most striking thing was her response to the mention of humility for other
human
beings that she developed from this session. We discussed how we were all
capable of
everything given the right circumstances. She vowed to keep these children in
her heart
and make something good of the losses.
________________________________
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From: caterinafarkash@xxxxxxxxx
Date: Sun, 12 Nov 2006 16:28:07 +0200
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Veterans Day and Ancestral Offerings
I also thank you Lisa, Tom and Barbara
I bow to this day too.
I read to conversation about the abortions only a few days ago. the words
of Donna Joy reasonated deep inside me - both in my soul and body.Sudenly I
realized that my attempt to accept the explanations of the doctors and
others - that the first monts there is no "baby" - was an easy way out of
the guilt -even if I was very young and made mistakes (3 abortions). I did
work on that subject when I studied FC. but only now could I see the whole
picture. And - to feel it in my whole beeing. Then, my first tought was
that even the nazi soldiers said "i didn't know" - like I did. The ss - said
- that all the killing is O.K. because that's what was said to them. LIKE
ME!!! The realization of THE TRUTH that we are all capable of killing -
!!! and the acknowledging off ALL THE TRUTH was not easy for me... But
somehow it made me feel more humble, more repectfull, more compation.
My home is Israel -and mutch of my work deals with "Soldiers" (- here
everybody is soldier, on both size, having wars and terror attacs all the
time - ) and with holocaust survivors - it's like most of the people have
PTSD, victim and perpetrator issues, and so on, and it affects all aspects
of life. I just have to accept ? acknowledge that...And than I look at the
history of South Africa, Africa in general, USA (slavery and wars) , and all
the world - it,s like men are living, or were living on their swords almost
all the time. Yes, as I am (this time) a woman - I have to look at that -
and remember that me too....had my own war - my own capability of killing.
Maybe if I can "take in" the whole reality as it is, I will be able to
bring more peace in my soul, and maybe, to my own circle. Amen.
So, with humility, i bow to this day.
Caterina
On 11/12/06, beggenberger@xxxxxxxxxxx<mailto:beggenberger@xxxxxxxxxxx>
<beggenberger@xxxxxxxxxxx<mailto:beggenberger@xxxxxxxxxxx> > wrote:
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Thank you Tom and Lisa! I see how my rejection and disdain for the
practice of war is actually its own kind of war and perpetuates exactly that
which I am condemning.
With humility I bow to this day,
Barbara
-------------- Original message --------------
From: "tmasthenes13" <tmasthenes13@xxxxxxxxx<mailto:tmasthenes13@xxxxxxxxx>>
I received this today from Lisa Iverson in Bellingham, WA,and felt it
was a wonderful message for CT on Veterans Day. I asked her permission
to post it here and she is happy to have you all read it.
Tom Mellett
Van Nuys, CA
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Dear Friends,
Today is Veteran's Day.
"Veterans Day is the American name for the international day called
Armistice Day. It falls on November 11, the anniversary of the signing
of the armistice that ended World War One...The same day is observed
elsewhere as Remembrance Day or Armistice Day. All major hostilities
of World War 1 were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of
the 11th month of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice."
(Source: Wikipedia.)
I came to a difficult realization in the last year - something I'd
known in my head, but had been unable to allow myself to feel in my
soul and body: we have engaged in war since our species began. For me
to point my finger at another - whether it is a person, a country, or
our President, and to say, "You are the one. You are the one who makes
war, not me," is to deny my humanity. This is how I contribute to war:
when I ask others to be responsible for making a place for it. It's
easy for me to claim a place for peace; it makes me feel like a "good"
person.
Bert Hellinger (who developed the family constellation approach) once
said: "The most harm comes from those who try to do good." What an
odd statement. And then I remembered: Christianity trying to "save"
Indigenous people, the wars in the name of God, the U.S. impulse to
bring democracy to other lands, families not acknowledging the truth
because it hurts.
As a woman - a granddaughter, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, wife,
mother - it's sometimes hard for me to feel what it must be like for
men. The grandsons, sons, husbands, brothers, uncles, nephews,
husbands, fathers - they have all killed more than women. I wonder if
it's easier for me, as a woman, to feel my connection to my feelings,
my body. I have not had to kill another human being, and babies can
grow inside of me; our daughter came out of my body.
So I make a home inside of my soul for men and how they may have
closed themselves off from their hearts, their connection to their
bodies, to cope with war.
I ask myself: what can I do to contribute to peace, for our children,
our descendants, the future ancestors? So today, in honor of veterans
of wars of all kinds, I continue to make a place inside of my soul for
war. I do my best to give it a good home, a good place, without
judgement, without moralizing....so that we may have peace.
Blessings,
Lisa Iversen
website: http://www.familyconstellationswest.com
e-mail:
<lisa@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<mailto:lisa@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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