Hi all
It is nice to see that people on this forum dont always assume the issue
is systemic.
One of our challenges in systemic constellation work is to see it as part of
a broader array of possible understandings and interventions rather than as
a panacea.
hasta la vista
Chris Walsh
Melbourne, Australia
webpage: www.cwalsh.com.au
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Anita Roy
Sent: Wednesday, 9 January 2008 2:04 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] baby sleep advice
Hi
Having nursed three very healthy boys (now really well adjusted teenagers)
till they were 2, 4 and 6 respectively (they weaned themselves) I have to
agree that the soothing effect is good for anyone, traumatized or not. That
is to say, living itself and often, birth too, is traumatic. Some say that
birth is the most traumatic event of all in our lives. Nursing and sleeping
together is a matter of primal attachment, safety and as a result, emotional
security into adulthood.
The question is what is the mother's objection? Is it a matter of family and
cultural acceptance of this habit, or is she not getting any sleep herself?
I must say it's hard on the mother sometimes, as she may believe that it is
good for the baby for any number of reasons, but is not herself sleeping
well as a result. I needed to sleep without fear that I was rolling over the
baby, and part of me wanted to wrap my duvet around myself and sleep by
myself for a few hours. The perfect solution was to have the baby very close
by in a kind of cloth bassinet, right next to me or my partner, in the bed
or next to it (we slept on a floor level futon) on the floor. That is quite
different from having the baby in a different room or even in a crib ten
feet away. They are still next to the mother or father and that gives the
safety that babies need. Having advised a few younger mothers recently, who
wanted to nurse and sleep with baby, but were sleep deprived, this solution
worked very well.
It is unusual for a baby at that age do cry every night and needing to be
nursed, but given the medical history and possible feeling of early
abandonment, it would be understandable. Also, we don't know what other
extenuating issues may be playing out in the family dynamic.
If it's a matter of cultural and family acceptance, the client would be well
advised to join a local chapter of LaLeche League which normalizes late
nursing and family beds, so the client feels supported and not so alone.
I see nursing and family sleeping as a great proactive measure for a life
with healthy emotional intimacy.
Anita Roy
On 08/01/2008, Dan Booth Cohen <danbcohen@xxxxxxx
<mailto:danbcohen%40rcn.com> > wrote:
slept
Cristina - My daughters are ages 18 and 12 and couldn't be better in every
respect. When they were 18 months, they both cried a lot at night and
in our bed, where they nursed when they liked. Whether your client orher
baby were traumatized by the virus and treatment, there's no betterremedy
than what you describe. What's more healing than sleeping at mother'shttp://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0743201639/ref=sib_dp_pt/104-7155070-8575145
breast?
Here in the U.S. there's a great emphasis on solving problems such as you
describe. The classic book on the topic is Richard Ferber's Solve Your
Child's Sleep Problems." See
#reader-link.<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
For my wife, a howling baby wasn't a "problem." My wife nursed her way
through. Looking at my daughter's now, it all worked out for the best.
Dan
-----Originarl Message-----
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com> ] On Behalf Of
krsna-l@xxxxxxxxxxxxx <mailto:krsna-l%40ix.netcom.com>18
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2008 4:22 PM
To: ConstellationTalk
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] baby sleep advice
Hi Friends
I would appreciate some advice. I have a client who is breastfeeding an
months old baby. This baby had a virus when he was two weeks old and wasblood.
send to the hospital for three or four days. The mother was also in the
hospital. He had a spinal tap there and several times a day they took
At nigjht, this baby cries a lot and cannot sleep unless is with motherin
the bed and breastfeeding.
Any advice?
Thanks, Cristina
