Patrick
Thank you for raising the very important point that I omitted to
mention.
Yes I agree it is crucial to the work that it is not discussed by the
couple at an intellectual level. I describe to them as symbolic work
that continues to unfold at a deep level over a long time both
individually and as a couple.
I think, as often happens in group work, they themselves realize that
they have been in the presence of something really "sacred" and deeply
moving.
Of course they are sure to say a few things about it generally to each
other.
I was interested in your comments on the prescriptive element that can
occur in constellation work. It is early days for me and I have not yet
met with that concept, so it is one for me to think about.
Best wishes
Annie.
-----Original Message-----
From: patrickjkavanagh [mailto:patrickkavanagh@xxxxxxxxxxx] ;
Sent: Sunday, March 16, 2003 10:32 AM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] (unknown)
Dear Annie and Vera,
Regarding the use of constellation work in families who want issues
with children addressed, I agree with Annie that the work needs to
be done by a parent or parents and without the child being present.
I generally work with only one member of the system when I do
consellation work in my rooms and always encourage them not to
discuss the work in any detail with their family. I haven't actually
done work in my rooms with more than one member of a system, but I
imagine some key issues if working with both parents might be
encouraging them not to discuss the work too much and not to
interpret the result of the work as a prescription. I always
emphasise this when running groups as well.
The systemic conscience is often satisfied if only one member of
the system sees the restoration of order, hence the work is very
powerful even if it is not seen by or discussed in the family. Well,
especially if its not discussed, as discussion can quickly move the
work into the realm of concepts or prescriptions.
This is a bit of an aside, but my experience is that when the order
of love is interpreted as a prescription, the essence of the work is
lost. It is also mostly through this type of interpretation that the
work tends to become very controversial - people experience the
order as an instruction on how they should be rather than as a guide
to the phenomenological exploration of the systemic conscience and
what it needs for resolution. It is so readily absorbed by people as
a moral or ethical code or as a concept for making decisions or for
modelling their life, all of which moves it out of the specific
realm at which it operates.
Patrick
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