hi david,
i don't know whether you got my previous message as i put it under a slightly
different name in a new thread. however most of what others have said here
concurs or at least echoes some of what i wanted to say.
i find this web posting thing difficult, as it is very difficult to refer to
your message and then attend to each bit of it. no doubt there are fancy ways
to do so, but i don't get to a computer much so it does take the sponteneity
out of things.
i'll try to address some of your points here from my (rather weird) perspective:
- about systemic rules. yes you're right their are systemic rules, much like
gravity is a systemic rule. they are bound by the realities of connection and
interconnection within groups bound by love, kinship ties, hate, all sorts of
deep emotional and social ties, debts of various sorts, blood of various sorts
and so on and so forth. for every systemic rule that someone articulates,
however, there are many more. for the best sort of systemic rules, you could do
worse than reading the scriptures of any religion. if you are christian or
jewish the ten commandments aren't a bad start. if you are any other religion
look to the holy books (or holy stories if there aren't any books and it is an
oral only tradition) of that religion and read the direct commandments/laws of
'god' as communicated to the rishis or prophets who whoever takes that role.
they all are remarkably similar and provide a blueprint for the sort of ties
that an ethics of humanity demand and also delineate quite vividly in most
instances the sort of consequences that occur when they are (as they are
inevitably), defaulted from. those are the sort of messes that constellations
and any other form of this sort of endeavour attempt to articulate, demonstrate
and in some small way, create some movement towards a reconciliation of
'justice' (by that i mean the old form of justice that is 'justice equals
love') within that system.
- of course there is a balance in constellations between technique and going
with the flow and what i was trying to communicate with you, perhaps a bit
obtusely, is that in the end you need as a constellator or facilitator or
whatever label you end up feeling confortable with calling yourself, to find
that balance for yourself. that will come with time, with practice, with
observation of yourself and others, and with the humility to keep learning from
everyone and everything: yourself, your patients, your elders and teachers,
your own experiences, the god or belief that you serve in your heart above all
else and so on and so forth.
- what you say in your last paragraph rings true too, in a sense. what serves
'good' as you call it, by allowing the feeling/field whatever it is in the room
to 'relax' and 'flow' with a sense of love, is, as you have observed, the clue
to you as facilitator that you are on the right track, adn also (as you have
observed) seems to serve the client in the short and the longer term the best.
thanks for posting and communicating about this crucial aspect of constelling,
my best wishes for you and your constellation work and it is great that you are
serving both australia and china in this regard
thank you
dr sarah moore
--- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, David Mathes <david@...> wrote:
Thank you to all who replied to my question.
I am in a busy phase in my life at the moment, but I would like to
reply briefly.
Some of the thoughts in me that were prompted by the replies were:-
Trying to understand what we are doing as facilitators, or what
happens in Constellations, does not necessarily mean that we are
trying to impose a rule. And also systemically there is a place for
rules too.
I think there is a balance in Constellations between technique and
'going with the flow' (for want of a better expression).
The idea that what is good in Constellations is what 'helps' the
client interests me, but I don't have the space to add much more now,
except to say that I have noticed that this can be (1) a relaxing and
ease and fullness of love in the client, or (2) sometimes a relaxation
or flow of love in the system, but a resistance in the client, and
both (1) and (2) have been OK, as things have unfolded after the
workshop.
Best wishes, David Mathes
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